Sometimes in the evening, it’s nice to have a treat. Luxuries aren’t abundant in the Smartz-Herc household, so popcorn is a typical post-dinner snack. But when we really want to class up the joint, we have ice cream.
My go-to flavor is always So Delicious (Vegan) Vanilla. If I got all crazy, I could eat a quart of this in one sitting. But that’s a fairly stupid thing to do, so I came up with a plan.
When I was a kid, I always wanted my parents to buy ice cream cones. For some reason, they never did. This may have been to cut costs, but from what I’ve discovered, you actually save money by buying cones.
If you were to scoop out a bowl of ice cream or (like me) just eat it straight from the quart, you’ll notice that you go through the entire container in a couple of sittings. This isn’t cheap and isn’t really all that healthy.
On the other hand, if you get a cone and fill it with a few scoops, a quart will last you eight or so such helpings. But why is this?
Simple. When you eat ice cream from a bowl, you eat it with a spoon, scooping up relatively large gobs of ice cream with each bit. But when you eat ice cream from a cone, you lick it, taking relatively small amounts of goodness with each swipe.
Maybe it’s a mental thing. I know that when I have the quart in front of me, there’s nothing to stop me from eating the whole thing (including tummy aches). But if I have a cone, when it’s done it’s done. And you get to eat a cone! Those are fairly cheap and, aside from a tiny bit of sugar, fairly neutral.
Also, there’s something magical about eating an ice cream cone. When you go to the beach or the a carnival, you get ice cream on a cone. Getting it in a bowl just seems like you’re slumming it. You could do that yourself at home. But with a cone, you’re living like a king! You are sole monarch of all you survey when you have a fist-full of ice cream cone!
So, fatty, instead of sitting down with a quart of rocky road, get yourself a cone. The ice cream will last longer, making each sitting a cheaper foray into extravagance. And you’ll be eating ice cream from a cone – a delicacy reserved only for Little Leaguers, county fair-goers and the Hollywood elite.
Have an ice cream cone – because you’re worth it!