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MST3K’s Gamera vs. Gaos – You’re a Big Ol’ Hog!

This is part of an ongoing series called Godzilla & Friends: Reviews from the Godzillaverse and Beyond!. Feel free to look around.



As is becoming normal with watching Gamera movies, right after viewing, I sit down with the MST3K version. MST3K’s Gamera vs. Gaos first aired on July 27, 1991, about a month after their take on Gamera vs. Barugon.

While this one was definitely funny, it didn’t have as many quotable lines or memorable bits. What I took away from it was, “good episode… so what’s for dinner?”

You look at it, I’m bitter: The Movie

The first thing I noticed about the movie was just how bad this looked compared to the original version that I have. It’s washed out and dark and sort of blurry. This is definitely the print of the film (or crappy videotape of the film) and not the quality of the overall episode.

Also the dubbing, again by Sandy Frank, is bad. This is the worst to date. Though this would only get worse, in another Japanese movie, Time of the Apes (shown two episodes before Gamera vs. Gaos), an entire host segment is taken up by “The Sandy Frank Song.” Here, they claim that Mr. Frank is the source of all their pain. Oh I’m with you there!

The riffing is good throughout. Definitely no complaints on that end. And this one is very riffable. I honestly liked the original movie, but I am fully aware that the Gaos costume is horrible. It’s just crap. Crow notices this too: “Every time he screams a piece of candy comes out!”

Crow had a few good lines though this one, but he also dabbled in puns, yet again. But unlike the last two Gamera episodes, when Crow drops the pun, Joel just gives him a stern warning rather than ripping his arms off. Joel’s pretty mellow here.

Joel spins Gamera!“If you had a head shaped like a Dixie Cup, you’d be embarrassed too,” said Joel about poor Gaos. And it’s true. While the Gaos costume is bad, the real horror of this movie is the amazingly nasty voice acting. The comic relief guys and various old men being the worst.

I’m not saying that the original Japanese language restored print is a memorable classic to be cherished for generations to come, but at least there’s no Sandy Frank. And at least when there is Sandy Frank, there’s also Joel and the Bots to see us through.

We got commercial sign!: The host segments

In some episodes the movie segments outside the host segments, or vise versa. But in this one, it’s a draw. The riffing was good, the host segments were good as well.

We start off in a very surreal place. I like that. The bots are pretending that a raspy-voiced Lucile Ball is talking with as raspy-voiced Harvey Firestein. They only listen to Joel when he speaks to them in a raspy-voiced Brenda Vicarro. It all makes no sense, which makes for a happy me.

The invention exchange is up next and I usually don’t like these at all. This week, the Mads invent a printer that prints your self image (which is pretty clever) and Joel invents a tissue box fax machine that prints real faxes on real tissue paper. Eh.

The fun thing was right before they introduce the title of the movie, Frank and Dr. F’s self image printer has printed the torso and legs of Gamera and Gaos, respectively. Nifty!

Our first segment after the movie begins to roll is an arts and crafts demonstration. Joel is making a Gaos head out of an 8″ x 8″ piece of paper (his is bigger for demonstration purposes). As he attempts to keep it safe for kids, the bots interrupt with bad ideas like drinking the glue because it tastes like sweet, sweet honey. Joel counters that it does not taste like sweet, sweet honey. Servo is finally given a time out.

The next segment is all set up and is weird. They’re going to put on a production of “Gameradammerung,” sort of a Gamera-centric version of Friedrich Nietzsche’s Götzen-Dämmerung. But it never gets off the ground.

What's with Servo's hat?Joel apparently though the name “Gaos” would be a good name for a crappy magician/plate spinner. In the next host segment, Joel is Gaos the Great! He spins plates that look like Gamera while Servo quietly gives suggestions like “juggle or something!” It’s sort of become a fan favorite, though I’m not sure why. I like it too.

After the movie, Joel and and Tom Servo come up with really fun and elaborate ways to off Gaos, like “you invite Gaos to vacation with you in the Bahamas and after a leisurely lunch you invite him to come out deep sea fishing and it’s your treat because that scuba gear is really expensive and then you cut his hose!” Crow doesn’t get it and suggests “you could… um… chop his head off.”

We are then invited to send in our own ideas on how to snuff Gaos. I don’t think anyone ever did.

Your eyes won’t believe what your hands have done: The KTMA episode

These KTMA episodes are pretty tough to get through. Thankfully, the movies aren’t so bad that it’s impossible.

KTMA Gamera!Gamera vs. Gaos was their sixth episode ever, airing December 18, 1988 on KTMA TV-23 out of Minneapolis.

By the time they got to Comedy Central, they were often reading viewer mail during the last host segment, but while they were at KTMA, they played messages left by views on their answering machine. The first one complains about two Gamera movies in a row. Joel explains (for the first time ever) that he doesn’t control this stuff and that it’s all up to the made scientists back on earth, Dr. Forrester and Dr. Erhardt.

The movie itself is uncut. That means, like most Sandy Frank movies, there’s a long sequence of a monster fight scene before the opening credits. Why? Who can tell?

This time, Tom Servo joins Joel in the theater and there’s quite a bit more riffing. But since it’s all improv, it amounts to not much more than commenting about what’s going on in the movie. It tends not to be all that funny, though the “Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off” sequence of riffing on Japanese cast and crew names is neat and shows a bit of planning.

KTMA Gaos!The second host segment is pivotal. I hated Servo’s squeaky first voice. Thankfully Joel announces that Servo is going to go through puberty and changes his voice. He went through several selections, including Kissenger, The Chipmonks and Droopy Dog (or Carrol Channing) before settling on the Josh Weinstein version of Tom Servo with a radio announcer/car salesman voice. Not bad.

In the next segment, Gypsy wants a voice change too. Sadly, she doesn’t get it. I hate her early voice as well. It’s this weird low-pitched something. Terrifying. Joel’s reasoning is “you don’t want to be like Tom Servo.”

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!A viewer calls in, asking for Crow to come back, but he won’t be unfrozen (remember, he was frozen in the episode before this one in order to be a Christmas tree) until the New Year’s special, which just happens to be the next episode.

In a very sweet moment, a boy calls in and invites Joel and the bots to his birthday party. Aww. Joel has to decline, but they’ve decorated the Satellite of Love for him and Servo with his new voice gives him advice (which includes “wear Old Spice”).

To wrap the show up, they run down the schedule for KTMA’s New Years Eve programming and Servo just loves his new voice.

So do I.

That was about the lamest attempt to get rid of a monster I’ve ever seen.

Well, this one wouldn’t be in my top ten, but it’s a good one. Maybe not the best to start out with, but a strong entry for season three. It’s no Pod People or Cave Dwellers, but it’s good.

This KTMA episode as well as the next really set MST3K up for moving onto bigger and better things. While it’s difficult to get through them, historically (if you want to cal it that) they’re important.

So grab some popcorn and a few friends and have fun with MST3K’s Gamera vs. Gaos. There are certainly worse things you could do with your afternoon.

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- Watch the Season Three episode Gamera vs. Gaos!
- Watch the KTMA episode of Gamera vs. Gaos!




STINGER!

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Gamera vs. Gyaos – Laws of Physics? What Laws of Physics?

This is part of an ongoing series called Godzilla & Friends: Reviews from the Godzillaverse and Beyond!. Feel free to look around.

posterIt’s always a fun time for a Gamera movie! Man, I love these things. Some folks think they’re too silly or too child-like, but so what, it’s all about the fun! And Daikaijū Kuchu Kessan: Gamera tai Giyaosu (Giant Monster Midair Battle: Gamera Versus Gyaos… or just Gamera vs. Gyaos) freaking delivered!

The first Gamera movie focused on Toshio, the little boy who knew Gamera was just a misunderstood giant turtle and his older sister, Nobuyo. But in the next one, Gamera vs. Barugon, though there were rainbows, there were no children. Thankfully, the original director, Noriaki Yuasa, is back and so is a boy (Eiichi) and his older sister (Sumiko)!

The theme of this one, just like the first one, is that any idea the adults have fails miserably, but any plans formulated by children (which usually involve Gamera) work surprisingly well!

And now, the plot…

Gamera vs. Gyaos!The volcanoes in the south seas are erupting! Even Mt. Fuji is spewing some lava! This immediately attracts Gamera. He loves fire because he can eat it. He flies into the erupting Mt. Fuji and doesn’t come out.

A team of researchers worried about the volcano, earthquakes and Gamera take a helicopter to the site. Suddenly, there is a glowing green light from a crevasse in the volcano and a ray that slices the helicopter in two. It crashes killed all aboard.

Eiichi, a little boy who lives in a village near Mt. Fuji, spots of reporter lurking in the woods looking for a scoop on the green lights. Eiichi takes him to a cave that’s emitting the light when an earthquake strikes, raining rocks down upon both Eiichi and the reporter.

Gyaos!Fearing for his own life, the reporter beats cheeks, leaving poor Eiichi frightened and alone. As the selfish reporter leaves the cave, a giant winged reptilian monster grabs him and eats him.

Eiichi makes a break for it, running from the cave. The monster quickly captures him and appears ready to devour the little fella when Gamera, the friend of all children, shows up to protect him.

The two monsters fight! The winged reptile fires his cutting rays at Gamera, slicing his leg, causing much green blood to flow. Gamera retracts into his shell and rolls down a hill into his opponent. Eiichi is dropped, but falls into the loving hand of his friend, Gamera. Gamera puts him on the ground then shoot fire at the other monster, forcing him to fly away.

Help!The boy is safe as Gamera lifts him onto the back of his shell and flies him to Nagoya where his sister Sumiko is waiting. Gamera then flies away.

Later, at Countermeasure Head Quarters, Dr. Aoki, the military and, of course, Eiichi are discussing what to do about this new threat. Eiichi tells them that the monster’s name is Gyaos, he named him himself. We also learn that Gyaos has two throats, can’t move his head and his rays are supersonic.

The military tries to attack Gyaos, but the monster slices all the jets in two with his sonic ray. They sure could use Gamera right now, but he’s at the bottom of the sea recovering from the fight with Gyaos.

Gyoas cuts Gamera!Eiichi, who is now the military’s resident monster expert, reveals that Gyaos only attacks at night and hates bright light. The plan is now to flood the city with light and to keep Gyaos contained by use of flairs.

Well, this plan fails miserably as Gyaos simply flies away, heading to Nagoya. The citizens have been evacuated to Chunichi baseball stadium, which is flooded in bright light. Gyaos avoids the stadium, but lays waste to the town, taking apart Nagoya Castle with his sonic ray and crushing then eating people.

One car tries to make an escape, but Gyaos cuts it in half. Luckily, he only cut the body in half. His ray must not have been strong enough to cut the axles and engine as they drive wackily away!

Half a car!After much destruction by Gyaos, Gamera is finally ready for battle. The two monsters engage in mid-air combat that defies all laws of physics. Gyaos’s rays, however, cannot cut through Gamera’s shell. Gamera is able to latch onto Gyaos’s foot with his teeth and hold him for awhile.

The sun starts to rise and Gyaos’s head is turning red. It looks like this might be it for the winged-beast, but just then, Gyaos uses his sonic ray and slices off his own toes to escape!

Later that day, two dock workers find the toes, which seem to be shrinking in size due to sunlight. Meanwhile, Gyaos is regenerating new toes, so no big deal.

Gamera and Gyaos fight over the baseball stadium!At a military meeting, Eiichi bursts in, but is allowed to stay because he’s a friend of Gamera’s. It’s decided that they need to somehow trap Gyaos outside when the sun rises – that will kill him. Eiichi comes up with the idea of using a rotating restaurant to make Gyaos dizzy so he’ll stay in one place.

They lure Gyaos to the restaurant using fake blood that tastes and smells like real human blood. The plan is working! Gyaos is spinning around and around getting dizzy, but the motor turning him burns out because it was spinning too fast! Gyaos is dizzy, but free. If only Gamera were here!

To attract Gamera, Eiichi comes up with a plan that the adults can’t possibly screw up. They must start a forest fire that will keep Gyaos away, but attract Gamera.

Jets drop fire bombs around Gyaos, setting much of the forest ablaze. Gyaos emits a yellow vapor extinguishing the flames. They try it again and again the flames are snuffed out. But not before attracting Gamera!

The final battle of Gamera vs. Gyaos is about to begin! Will Nagoya be saved? Will Gyaos succumb to the might of Gamera? Find out in Gamera vs. Gyaos!

Gyaos destroys Nagoya! Nogoya Castle




This is my new favorite movie ever!

Ok, maybe not quite, but I do love these things.

Gamera!It sure was nice to see some city destruction again. The Godzilla flicks seem to have left that way out of the budget. There wasn’t much in this one, but it’s better than nothing.

Gamera’s suit was a bit different in this one, I think. It’s a little less turtle-like. But it’s not as bad as Gyaos, which is just cheesy. I know that Japanese filmmakers weren’t going for realism here, but it’s still pretty bad. It reminded me of a really crappy Rodan costume.

All of these movies have some subplot that adds to the fun of the movie, but isn’t really essential. For this one, it’s about a highway being made through the village where Eiichi and his family live. The villagers are trying to hold out to get more money out of the construction company. That plan doesn’t work so well.

The Wacky Workers!Two of these workers, Hachiko and Mite-no-Tetsu were recurring characters, adding a bit of comedy to the movie. I’m not sure who they were (though one had been in other Gamera movies), but they were probably crafted after Tahei and Matashichi, the two peasants in Akira Kurosawa’s Hidden Fortress. They were very similar to them, though obviously not as well used. This is, after all, a movie about a giant flying turtle.

Gamera vs. Gyaos was never released to theaters in the US, but it was shown on TV as Return of the Giant Monsters (though Gamera was the only monster returning). It was also redubbed by Sandy Frank in the mid 80s. Both English versions chopped off the Gamera song at the end, which played over the credits.

This, like all Gamera movies, is difficult to find in its original Japanese version. But, believe me, it’s worth the hunt. Tthe dubbed, pan & scan DVD of Return of the Giant Monsters is fairly available and might be enough for some. For me, I’m glad I get to see it as it was intended.

I’m also glad I get to see it in its MST3K version! That review is coming up shortly!

Gamera vs. Gyaos!-

Monsters: Gamera, Gyaos
Locations: Nagoya, Mt. Fuji

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Producer: Hidemasa Nagata | Director: Noriaki Yuasa | Screenplay: Nissan Takahashi
Special Effects: Kazufumi Fujii | Score: Tadashi Yamauchi
Released: May 15, 1967 | 87 mins | Color | 2.35: 1 Aspect Ratio

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MST3K – Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster – I just saw half a crab kill a guy!

This is part of an ongoing series called Godzilla & Friends: Reviews from the Godzillaverse and Beyond!. Feel free to look around.

While this was Mystery Science Theater 3000’s second shot at a Godzilla movie, it is my first (shot at their shot at a Godzilla movie). Episode #213 first aired February 2, 1991, just a couple of weeks after their take on Godzilla vs. Megalon. I’ll be getting to that one in a few weeks.

TVs Frank and Dr. ForresterSeason Two of MST3K was very hit or miss. It was their first season with the Joel-Trace-Kevin riffing team and the first with TV’s Frank. Also, a lot of changes in the writing staff took place between seasons one and two. During season two, they’re just ironing it all out.

So it’s understandable why Episode 213, Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster was kind of a dud. The movie itself would seem ripe for riffing, it really makes no sense at all and relies upon impossible coincidences and rock music to see it through.

But for this version, the rock music was gone (actually almost all of the score was gone) and the dubbing, while stereotypically this close to racist didn’t seem so obvious as far as the coincidences were concerned.

What’s the title of this movie, anyway?: The Movie Segments

Dance!The overall riffing by Joel and the bots was alright. It definitely wasn’t up to the standards of Seasons Three and Four (or even to the standards of most of Season Two). The movie starts off like a KTMA episode. Joel, Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot don’t enter the theater at first. The main credits roll with some foggy clips from some action sequences later in the movie, but there’s nobody there to watch them.

Throughout the movie, Servo makes mention of this by asking, “What’s the title of this movie, anyway?” It’s a reoccurring riff and it doesn’t make a lot of sense. Did they just skip the opening credits to make the joke? Seems like a long walk to me.

Is this a Mothra movie or a Godzilla movie?The 80’s seem to be weighing heavy on their minds. There are numerous B-52s references, which make sense since Ebirah, the monster foe in the movie, is a giant lobster (it wasn’t a rock… it was a ROCK LOBSTER!). Van Halen also gets an honorary mention.

In the first establishing shot, a small Japanese house is shown. Joel calls on the Talking Heads: “You may find yourself living in a Sho-gun shack.” That got a giggle from me.

But he giggles were sadly few and far between. Trace (who played Crow) even steps on one of Joel’s lines. It’s rare to hear that in later seasons.

Joel seems to have the best riffs of this one. In a scene showing Mothra’s twin faeries, he pulls out what will become a favorite, “It’s Haily Mills and Haily Mills in The Mothra Trap!”

When he said "eat me" he didn't mean "eat me!"He also ventures into the surreal, which always makes me happy. In a scene that quickly shows the Red Bamboo base, he quietly remarks, “It’s a giant video toaster.”

The lack of rock & roll music really hampered the fight scenes. Most are pretty silent and it just feels awkward. I would have loved to see them dance to the original soundtrack.

Some music is still there in one fight scene. “When they’re underwater, it sounds like a James Bond Movie,” says Joel, breaking the riffing silence.

I was, however, happy to hear a reference to Morton Downy Jr. I used to watch him all the time.

An onion completes the Taj Mahal?: The Host Segments

If the riffing in a movie is so-so, there’s always the host segments to pull you through, right? Well, sort of.

It looks just like...We start off with Joel reading a really messed up version of the Velveteen Rabbit to Crow and Servo (who’s dressed in a sharp red peacoat!). The bots insist Joel do all the voices. He doesn’t really oblige.

The invention exchange is kind of lame with Joel’s mind control guitar and the Mad’s (Dr. Forrester and TV’s Frank) squeeze toy guitars (made from doggie squeaky toys). It’s a bit much, but we are introduced to Jerry and Sylvia, the two short-lived mole people who help Dr. F and Frank. They’re named after Gerry and Sylvia Anderson, the husband and wife team who created the marionette series Thunderbirds.

What this episode is most remembered for is the next segment’s “Godzilla Geneaology Bop” which traces the lineage of Godzilla, from his origin to his marriage to the Loch Ness Monster and his son, Godzuki’s, demise in Hollywood, even blaming him for Ron Pearlman. It’s a classic and must be seen. Also, for some reason Servo is wearing a fez.

Godzilla Geneaology BopNext, Joel is suffering from being too long in space. He builds really crappy miniatures of famous buildings back on earth and generally acts crazy. Faced with no alternative, the bots smash all the models and everything is again copacetic.

At least as far as the Satellite of Love is concerned. In our next host segment, we find Tom and Crow dressed as Mothra’s twin faeries, reciting lyrics and praying that the large insect appear before them. Joel warns them to not scoff at a higher being, but Mothra shows up anyway and voices his (yes, his) regret at appearing on Thicke of the Night. The Bots are excited, but commend him for doing a Thicke of the Night joke in the 90’s.1

We close the show with a few famous lines that we think are in movies, but aren’t. Like, “play it again, Sam” in Casablanca and “Dear God, I’m so ashamed,” by Andrew McCarthy in Mannequin. They select some pictures from the recent “Cool Things” contest and Frank pushes the button. We’re done!

This is not going well…
Ok, so it wasn’t great. But still, better than the original, right? Hm. To be honest, and maybe I’m just getting too into Godzilla, I’d rather see the full, Japanese version. I mean, yeah, I’d still sit down and watch the MST3K episode anytime, anywhere with anybody, but deep down, I really do like the original movie.

stinger!I think the rock & roll music and Godzilla’s silly antics (which were both overlooked and left out of the version MST3K used) made the flick for me. The riffing adds to the fun, as usual, but it just wasn’t up to par.

Sure, see it, because it’s MST3K. And maybe I would have liked it a lot better if I hadn’t seen the movie first.2

-Watch the Season Two episode (part one – the other parts are easy to find.
-Watch a seven minute highlight reel!

  1. Thicke of the Night was a thankfully short-lived talk show starring Alan Thicke (who played the dad on Growing Pains). It was indeed every bit as bad as it sounds. []
  2. I saw this episode a long time ago, but didn’t really remember it at all. Their take on Godzilla vs. Megalon, however, is something I’ve seen a bunch of times. Same goes for the Gamera movies. []

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Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster – Rock & Roll!

This is part of an ongoing series called Godzilla & Friends: Reviews from the Godzillaverse and Beyond!. Feel free to look around.

Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster Japanese PosterEverything changed with King Kong vs. Godzilla. The King of the Monsters was no more. Not only was he bested in KKvG, he was goofy. And while, so far, that persona has come and gone in the Godzilla series, it’s here to stay with Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster.

Oddly enough, the original script was written as King Kong vs. The Sea Monster. However, when Toho (for some reason or another) couldn’t get the rights for King Kong, they just threw in Godzilla instead. It’s pretty much a perfect fit (with the odd exception of one very King Kong-like scene).

Guess who wins...Through all the silliness, I liked Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster. It was very different than other Godzilla movies. For one, series director Ishiro Honda was replaced by Jun Fukuda, typically a comedy director.

Unlike most of the movies in the series, the music wasn’t scored by Akira Ifukube. Instead the amazing composer, Masaru Sato took over. Some might recall his name from Akira Kurosawa’s Throne of Blood, Yojimbo and Sanjuro. In fact, he finished Red Beard the year before Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster. His sparse, traditional writing was brilliant in those films. He also composed the music for Godzilla Raids Again. With credits like that, I figured I was in for a treat.

That wasn’t quite the case. Though Sato’s opening notes over the Toho logo instantly reminded me of the flute and drum of Throne of Blood, that was short-lived.

So let’s talk plot…
We find young Ryota looking for his brother, Yata, who was lost at sea. First he seeks out a psychic who claims Yata is still alive. He then tries the press and finally the cops, but neither are any help at all.

Dancing!While at the cop shop, he spies a poster for a Dance Marathon contest. Distraught, he checks it out. There he meets two very tired ex-dance marathoners, Nita and Ichino. The grand prize of the contest is a boat and if he could have entered in time and won, Ryota could have sailed to the South Sea where his brother’s boat was lost. Lucky for him, Nita and Ichino know where to find a boat.

All three head to the docks and break into a boat, finding Yoshimura hiding inside. Yoshi claims it’s his boat, but instead of beating them up or at least telling them to go away, he invites them in to sleep overnight. Weird, huh?

An opportunity like this doesn’t come along every day, so in the middle of the night, Ryota casts off for the South Sea! In the morning, they all wake up and realize they’re in the middle of the ocean. They seem to accept their fate well.

Our heroes!That is, until they hear a radio broadcast about the very ship their on! Turns out Yoshi is a bank robber and doesn’t even own the boat! Hey, they’re all criminals now! Super!

Just as they’re all settling into their new lifestyle of fugitives on the lamb, a big storm appears, the sky grows black and a huge orange lobster-like claw grabs their boat, dumping our heroes into the drink. What the crap, right?

In yet another twist of fate, our four darlings find themselves washed up on an island! Rather unphased, they climb to the top of the mountain and see a weird looking boat spraying yellow stuff all around. They wave to it, but are unseen.

The weird watercraft docks at a large military base that appears to be a power plant. Out of the boat steps several officers and a whole slew of natives – their slaves.

Akihiko HirataA few natives run for their freedom. One is gunned down, but two make it to a very convenient boat, paddle out to see and are promptly eaten by that huge lobster, called Ebirah by the natives.

Amid this confusion, one native slave, Dayo, is able to slip away unnoticed. She heads for the hills and meets up with Ryota, Nati, Ichino and Yoshi. She tells them about her captors, the Red Bamboo and that she is from Infant Island, home of Mothra. In yet another squiggle of luck, she also knows Ryota’s brother, Yata – he washed up on her island two months ago. Small world.

Outwitted!The five are chased by the Red Bamboo, lead by Captain Ryuui, played by Japan’s answer to John Agar (though not used nearly as well), Akihiko Hirata. He was Dr. Serizawa from the original Gojira, sporting an eye patch in both flicks.

To lose the Red Bamboo, they hide in a cave. However, this doesn’t mean they’re safe. This isn’t just any cave, this is the very same cave where Godzilla sleeps! Not too keen on this, they decide to sneak into the Red Bamboo base, though I’m not really sure why.

Yoshi, being a bank robber, knows something about opening windows and doors. He provides the access and they discover that Red Bamboo is making nuclear weapons. But soon they are discovered and have to run away.

Praying to MothraRyota gets tangled up in a hot air balloon and drifts off into the sky. Nati is captured and made a slave. He learns that the yellow stuff keeps Ebirah, the giant lobster, away. Quickly, he devises a plan to make fake yellow stuff so that at the end of the movie, things will all work out. Nati is pretty smart like that.

The remaining three, Yoshi, Ichino and Dayo, head back to the Godzilla cave where Dayo prays for Mothra to wake up and save them all.

Coincidentally, the natives on Infant Island are also praying for Mothra to wake up when suddenly Ryota drops from out of the sky practically on top of his brother Yata! Super ridiculously small world!

Ryota and Yata, united at last, construct a plan with the help of the Shobijin, Mothra’s twin faries (here played by twins who are not The Peanuts). They head back to Red Bamboo’s Island to tell the natives to make a huge net – they’ll find out soon enough.

New Shobijin?Yoshi, Ichino and Dayo come up with a plan of their own: wake Godzilla so he can scare off the Red Bamboo. Brilliant. They do so with lightening. Godzilla is awake!

Along the way to the island, Ebirah attacks Ryota and Yata! Godzilla sees this and attacks Ebirah. The two brothers swim to shore as Godzilla beats upon the giant lobster monster.

The brothers find the other three and quickly attempt to rescue Nati and the rest of the native slaves. Unsurprisingly, they are chased off and have to split up.

Just as the Red Bamboo are about to capture Dayo, she comes upon Godzilla. He seems to take quite a King Kong-esque liking to her and scares off the Red Bamboo soldiers.

ok...Pleased with himself, but still a bit groggy, Godzilla sits down and appears to meditate. Of course, that’s when a giant condor swoops down from out of nowhere and Godzilla has to bat it away, finally frying it with his radioactive breath. He makes some weird signal to Dayo by putting his finger next to his nose and then resumes his meditation.

Dayo tears off, rejoining the others.

Jet fighter planes, presumably of Red Bamboo origin, attack Godzilla as super hip rock & roll music plays. Godzilla appears to be (and probably is) dancing as he swats at the planes. He destroys them all as our heroes escape and then attacks the main Red Bamboo base.

By this time, our heroes are inside the base, rescuing everyone. Godzilla is stomping around, destroying everything he can. Knowing they’re beat, the Red Bamboo sets the whole island to self destruct in two hours. They grab the (fake) yellow stuff, board their boat and are gone.

Of course, Ebirah, unaffected by the fake yellow stuff, eats them.

But all is not over! With the island set to explode, Ebirah on the loose, Mothra still asleep and the natives trying to make a quick net… how, in a movie practically based upon impossible coincidences, will they ever live to tell the tale of… Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster!

Whew! My final words…

Sitting in meditation.What a crazy movie. These things are getting more insane each time around. But I’m loving it. The plot is ridiculous. I mean… did you read it? Seriously messed up.

The monster scenes, however, are just down right fun. Godzilla has been goofy before, but meditating and then dancing to new hip rock & roll that all the crazy kids are listening to? It’s just too much! Not really, it’s just right. Godzilla and Ebirah actually play a game of catch with a boulder (ok, they did that before, but it’s better here)!

Fire!I, for one, am glad that they went this way with Godzilla. There’s no way they could have kept it going as long as they did if he were just plain evil. From here on out, Godzilla is one of us. We’ll root for him, cheering when he throws down and be sad when he’s beaten.

Jun Fukuda directs a couple more Godzilla flicks before Honda comes back (and three more after that). They’re supposedly just as goofy and the next one, Son of Godzilla, looks extra goofy! Sadly, Fukuda feels his work on Godzilla wasn’t up to par. He didn’t even want to do it in the first place.

But I welcome Fukuda and his wacky antics! Honda is, of course, a legend, a classic. But Fukuda’s changes are fun and make Godzilla what he is still remembered as being today. Ishiro Honda created Gojira, personification of warfare. But Jun Fukuda created Godzilla, friend of Japan and all the people of Earth! Long live Godzilla!

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Monsters: Godzilla, Ebirah, Mothra, some weird giant condor
Locations: Infant Island, Devil’s Island, somewhere in Japan

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Producer: Tomoyuki Tanaka | Director: Jun Fukuda | Screenplay: Shinichi Sekizawa
Special Effects: Eiji Tsuburaya | Score: Masaru Sato
Released: December 17, 1966 | 87 mins | Color | 2.35: 1 Aspect Ratio

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War of the Gargantuas – More Frankenstein from Japan!

War of the Gargantuas poster.Not even a year after Toho blessed Japan with Frankenstein vs. Baragon, its sequel, Frankenstein no Kaijū: Sanda tai Gaira (called War of the Gargantuas in The States) was released.

Though the monster in Frankenstein vs. Baragon was killed at the end of the movie, he had grown from the heart of the original Frankenstein’s monster. If he could grow from that, then new monsters could grow from him. Thus the sequel was born!

When I sat down to watch this, I was in the mood for a good monster movie. Actually, I was in the mood for a Godzilla movie, but watched this because I’m watching them in chronological order and War of the Gargantuas is next in line. However, it didn’t disappoint. That very well could be because pretty much everyone who worked on it had worked on the Godzilla movies in the past.

All Sanda really wants to do is siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!Regular Godzilla Director, Ishiro Honda was at the helm for War of the Gargantuas, even co-writing the script with Takeshi Kimura (who wrote Rodan, Frankenstein vs. Baragon and others).

Akira Ifukube again provides the score, even using a saw in the opening theme. And of course, Eiji Tsubaraya heads up the special effects department.

What is important is the story…

Tossing about on the sea is a small boat that is suddenly attacked by a giant octopus! It nearly kills the pilot when suddenly a huge green hairy humanoid beast appears, rips the octopus apart killing it… then turns on the boat!

Yeah, I was Riff in West Side Story, so?Luckily, the pilot could swim back to shore. But of the five crew members, he was the only one to survive. The others were eaten by this garganua!

The local authorities called up Dr. Stewart who’s an expert on Frankenstein. He tells them that it can’t be Frank – Frank lives in the mountains, not in the sea. Also, he doesn’t eat humans.

Nevertheless, more and more shipwrecks are occurring. The media is quickly placing the blame onto Frankenstein. But how could this be possible? Frank was just spotted in the mountains!

Airport!The green gargantua shows up at Tokyo’s Haneda Airport, terrorizing the travelers, wrecking some buildings and even eating a woman and spitting out her clothes. He then heads back out to sea.

Since everyone is freaking, Dr. Stewart and his assistant, Akemi, head to Tokyo to try to sort things out. Stewart wonders aloud if there could be two Frankensteins.

The words get stuck in my throat...It’s been surmised that the gargantua attacking Tokyo doesn’t like light so much. He only attacks in cloud cover or at night. During a night club show, when an American woman is singing “Feel in My Heart,” the green gargantua attacks! Everyone runs, but he’s able to capture the singer. Before he could eat her, however, they turn the lights on, he drops her and heads to the mountains in confusion.1

The people living in the mountain villages light bonfires to keep him away as the army chases him down with tanks and light fixtures, keeping him from the populous.

In a rare plan that actually works, the army decides to fight him with electricity. They throw bolts of lightening at him and even send electrical current through a nearby river in an attempt to kill him. What’s odd is that it’s nearly successful. Because of the constant artillery pounding and electrocution, the green monster is down for the count.

Shocking!Watching all of this is another gargantua, brown in color and living in the mountains. He rushes in and saves the green monster out of compassion.

The military come up with the names Gaila (for the green one) and Sanda (for the brown). Sanda, who was raised in captivity by Dr. Stewart and Akemi, nurses the bloodied Gaila. They lay low for awhile.

Unable to find them, Dr. Stewart and Akemi take their search to a nearby lake. Some crazy teens are also there on a little fishing trip and sing-a-long. The sun is out, so what bad things could possibly happen? Well, soon the fog rolls in and before anyone could get anywhere, Gaila, the green gargantua, rises up and scares off the teens!

Sanda saves the girl!Akemi tries to run away, but falls down a cliff, saving herself by holding onto a root… but how long can she hold out? Dr. Stewart tries to save her, but can’t get there in time. Akemi falls, but is saved by Sanda, the brown gargantua! He lovingly places her at the feet of Dr. Stewart.

Fed up, the army comes up with an awesome plan: electrocute the entire lake and burn the forest down with napalm! High fives all around! Dr. Stewart and pals are not amused and really need to figure out a way to save Sanda and apparently nature.

Meanwhile, Sanda catches up with Gaila and sees the evidence that those wild teens didn’t get too far. The clothes of the dead are scattered around him. Sanda is pretty pissed and it’s time for Gaila to stop being such a load.

Stop being such a freakin' load, Gaila!The monsters fight, but Gaila throws Sanda to the ground and runs away.

Dr. Stewart again insists that Sanda is innocent and that the army should only attack Gaila. They seem to listen to him and as the monsters are fighting each other, bomb the crap out of Gaila. He heads back to the ocean.

But another thought occurs to Dr. Stewart. If the gargantuas grew from cells of the first Frankenstein, wouldn’t more gargantuas grow from Sanda and Gaila’s cells? They’ll be scattered all over Japan! The conclusion is that Sanda must be saved and Gaila should be killed, but don’t blow him up or anything because that would be really bad.

Roar?What can be done? Gaila has entered Tokyo and Sanda is coming off the mountains to fight him! The city is evacuated while tanks bombard Gaila. He quickly smashes them with the debris of fallen buildings. Finally Sanda finds him and seems to urge him to be calm.

Gaila is having none of it! The gargantuas fight, pummeling Tokyo and themselves in the process. To lessen the destruction, Sanda leads Gaila out into Tokyo Bay when all of a sudden a giant underwater volcano erupts! Who will survive this incredibly convenient movie-ending plot twist? Find out on War of the Gargantuas!

Thoughts after watching?

It’s not a Godzilla flick, but, with the really obvious exception of the ending, it should have been. This is how monster movies should be made. Pretty well everything about it is high quality. From the monsters to the models – even the actors are good.

Convenient ending.Speaking of models, since the monsters were smaller than your typical Japanese monsters, the model buildings had to be made larger. This required more detail and, not surprisingly, Tsubaraya and his team pull it off. The miniature forests made with real trees look exactly like forests. When Sanda rips a tree from the ground and beats Gaila with it, it’s real.

My only complaint is the score. While I’m usually a huge fan of Akira Ifukube’s music, this is really repetitive. Especially the march that is played over and over. It sounds like a generic Civil War march and will be stuck in my head for days, thanks. Oh, and the bow saw only being played over the opening was such a tease!

It was, however, fun to see Russ Tamblyn in a Japanese monster flick. Russ was Riff on West Side Story and the creepy Dr. Jacoby from Twin Peaks. His daughter, Amber Tamblyn was Joan from the underrated TV series, Joan of Arcadia. He, like Nick Adams before him, knew no Japanese. He spoke his lines in English while the other actors spoke theirs in their native tongue. He was overdubbed in the Japanese release, they were overdubbed in the American release (which kept Russ’s original vocal track).

War of the Gargantuas vs. Monster Zero!The US version was released to theaters in 1970, sharing a bill with Monster Zero (Invasion of Astro-Monster). This American release is four minutes longer than the original Japanese. They must not have cared for the original score either as much of it has been replaced with Ifukube’s music from other Toho films. Also, they threw in some music from Blood Waters of Dr. Z for good measure.

There’s also an added scene from the airport sequence. Just after Gaila ate the woman, he is seen spitting out her clothes. The American release shows her clothes hitting the ground.

War of the Gargantuas is a mixed bag. You’ve got a great story that is actually centered completely around the monsters, but you also have a way too convenient ending and so-so music. Since I’ve already demanded that you see the movie Rodan and since War of the Gargantuas is packaged with it, why not give it a spin?

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Videos
Here is the original trailer. This is great because it shows Russ speaking in English while everyone else is speaking in Japanese.

Sanda vs. Gaila!-

Monsters: Sanda, Gaila, and giant octopus
Locations: Kyoto, Tokyo, rural areas around Tokyo

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Producer: Tomoyuki Tanaka | Director: Ishiro Honda | Screenplay: Takeshi Kimura
Special Effects: Eiji Tsuburaya | Score: Akira Ifukube
Released: July 31, 1966 | 90 mins | Color | 2.35:1 Aspect Ratio

  1. “Feel in My Heart” has the chorus “The words get stuck in my throat.” I recognized it from a weird Devo cover/parody of it – with Mark on vocals as Boojie Boy – on a live bootleg I had long ago. []

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MST3K vs. Gamera Vs. Barugon – There’s nothing missiles hate more than rainbows!

This is part of an ongoing series called Godzilla & Friends: Reviews from the Godzillaverse and Beyond!. Feel free to look around.

MST3K

Right after watching the original Gamera vs. Barugon, I sat down with Mystery Science Theater 3000’s take on it. MST3K’s version aired on Comedy Central on June 22, 1991, just two weeks after their take on the first Gamera movie aired.

Because riffing subtitles is a bad idea, they used a dubbed version created by Sandy Frank in 1985. The Gamera movies were dubbed for US television in the 60’s and then most were redubbed by Sandy Frank in the 80’s. The US TV versions were edited down for time and content, but Frank’s were the full versions. However, the Sandy Frank dubs are usually frighteningly horrible.

Gamera vs. Barugon’s dubbing isn’t so bad. It was only Frank’s second attempt and there seems to be a bit of respect here. Unlike the first movie, he didn’t even change the names.

Gamera vs. The Giant Itchy Dog with Itchy Scalp: The Movie

Caution: Filling is hot... AND ALIVE!Though Sandy Frank didn’t edit the movies, MST3K had to in order to fit them into the two hour time slot and to allow for their own host segments. The edits probably wouldn’t be so noticeable if I hadn’t seen the original. Honestly, I wouldn’t have noticed at all.

For instance, the trip to the cave is greatly edited down and so is any mention of Onodera’s nasty swamp foot. The movie heads right to Barugon’s hatching: “Caution – filling is hot.. AND ALIVE!”

Well, me and part of your eye.These movies were originally shot in a very wide aspect ratio. When panned & scanned down for TV, you miss a lot of the action. This isn’t lost on Joel, who points out, “It’s down to me and you… well, me and part of your eye.”

Joel also goes to town vamping on Barugon. It’s sort of a Jimmie Durante minus the “ha-cha-chas.” Barugon is in quite a lot of the movie, but the riffing on him never gets tiresome. I love it best when the bots are dead pan. When Barugon shoots the freezing ray from his tongue, Crow points out, “you don’t see that a lot in nature!”

Joel wipes away Karen's tears.Since it’s a monster movie, there’s bound to be some wires showing. Barugon’s head is so large that the actor playing him needed some help. A wire is clearly visible in one scene and Joel points it out, ruining Servo’s day:

Joel: I saw a wire… this wrecks the whole thing.
Servo: You mean this is fake?!

While watching the original movie’s really weird scene of Karen inexplicably sucking Keisekei’s blood (the one that looked like accidental fellatio), I wondered how MST would cover it. I figured they’d edit it out, not knowing what to say. Thankfully, they left it in. There’s an awkward silence and then Joel says, “You are one spooky chick, mind if I don’t call you again?”

Like in the last Gamera episode, Crow loses his arm due to bad punning. Just as Barugon is knocking down stuff and freezing stuff with his tongue, Crow riffs, “that’s it, we’re licked!” Immediately Joel rips off his arm, chucking it across the theater. Maybe it’s a Gamera tradition!

Rivers of blood and endless pain: The host segments

Joel eggs the bots on...MST3K isn’t just about riffing movies, it’s also about the host segments! After the opening with Crow and Servo hotly debating Mac vs. IBM Compatible (remember, this was 1991), we’re handed a fairly weak invention exchange. The episode is not off to a great start. Luckily the riffing during the movie segments was enough to pull us through.

The second segment is possibly one of my most favorite. Tom Servo introduces the 5,000 piece Monster action play set! Though he warns that some parts may be made of chicken, the fightin’ men and monsters can be set up any way you like! Then “watch as the twisted world you created explodes in rivers of blood and endless pain!” It’s fun for the whole family!

Action play set!After a bit more movie, we find the bots sitting in the restaurant TGI Tokyo. They both have really freaky masks on and I’m not really sure why. Joel is their waiter and suggests an Apple Double Murder-Suicide Tort for Servo (it’s a little rich) and a Vanilla Cross Country Killing Spree with Fudge Sauce for Crow (it’s also a little rich). I love it when they do stuff like this. It has basically nothing to do with the movie (or reality) and they just have a good time.

TGI TokyosThough not as surreal as the last segment (I guess), we next find Joel and the bots enjoying a nice outing on the beach… inside the Satellite of Love. Joel explains that stars of the 60’s never feel any pain and jumped at the chance to appear in a Gamera film. He then lists the actors who are appearing in Gamera vs. Barugon (Edward G Robinson, Elvis Costello, Lon Chaney Jr., Steve Allen, Willem Defoe, etc) while stills of various and random people from the movie flash before us on the screen. Willem Defoe apparently played several characters – he’s really versatile or something. But it all comes to a crashing halt when Joel gets stuck in Jerry Lewis mode.

We close the episode with the bots wishing for more Gamera. Thankfully Joel explains that at this point in Gamera’s career, he just wanted to direct, so was spending most of his time behind the camera. They then read a really cute letter from a 12 year old (who is now 29, fyi).

Less Movie and More Chapstick: The KTMA episode of Gamera vs. Barugon

Dance!Three years earlier, MST3K was basically a public access show on KTMA TV-23 out of Minneapolis. Gamera vs. Barugon was their fourth episode, airing December 4, 1988. For some reason, they ran this one before any other Gamera movies.

Though this was their fourth episode, this is the earliest known episode in existence. The first three episodes are “lost,” and no fan copies exist.

For this early episode, Joel is joined by Servo and Crow in the theater. These early KTMA episodes have very sparse riffing. Couple that with the bad tracking from the source tape making it nearly impossible to see their silhouettes, and it’s almost like watching a regular monster movie with a few host segments thrown in for fun.

Early Joel and early bots.Though hardly there at all, when there is riffing, it’s not bad. At this point, nothing was written down, it was just ad libbing from Joel, Trace and Josh.

As Barugon attacks the missiles with his rainbow of death:
Crow: Nothing missiles hate more than rainbows!
Joel: It’s their natural enemy.

I’m not sure if any of the riffs from the KTMA episode were reused for the Season Three episode, but I don’t believe so. The riffing in Season Three is amazing and well crafted. This is off the cuff. Even so, during the creepy blood sucking scene, Crow ponders, “maybe she didn’t have a band-aide.”

The best feature of the KTMA shows are the host segments. Mostly, they seem to consist of Joel listening to answering machine messages, but that’s almost always fun. One caller didn’t like the “interruptions” (meaning riffs) and said it was like being in the theater with a bunch of “jr. high teenagers.”

Joel promises another caller that they’ll have more chapstick in next week’s episode. The next week’s show was Gamera and I’m pretty certain that there wasn’t any more chapstick in it than usual.

The episode ends with Crow making prank phone calls to Domino’s Pizza and Dan Quayle

Come on, play it like you feel it, Mister Eddie’s Father!
MST3K’s handling of Gamera vs. Barugon is a very solid Season Three episode. There were definitely some better ones, but with great riffing and some amazingly surreal host segments, this is a keeper.

-Watch the Season Three episode (part one – find the rest easily enough)
-Watch the KTMA episode (again, part one)

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Gamera vs. Barugon – Taste the Rainbow… OF DEATH!

This is part of an ongoing series called Godzilla & Friends: Reviews from the Godzillaverse and Beyond!. Feel free to look around.

Gamera vs. Barugon poster!Hello and welcome to the review of 1966’s Daikaijū kessen: Gamera tai Barugon, Giant Monster Duel: Gamera vs. Barugon, Deiai Motion Picture’s answer to the many, many monster vs. another monster movies!

Unlike the first Gamera movie (Daikaijū Gamera or, simply, Gamera), this one is in color, features no kids and there’s a monster opponent, Barugon.

Don’t be fooled by the monster Barugon. This isn’t Baragon from Frankenstein vs. Baragon. This is a whole other monster that is sort of just as goofy, but in different ways. I’m sure that Daiei in no way wanted the audience to think that this was Baragon. They’re totally different: バラゴン or バルゴン … see? ラ is a totally different sound than ル. Totally.

Gamera!Anyway, since the first Gamera picture did so well, they thought they’d up the budget a bit and make it a rainbow full of colors! There’s natives in floral-print bikinis and a monster that’s… well let’s just say he’s got a colorful side to him.

Gather. Listen. It’s storytime.

If you’ll remember from the last movie, Gamera was shot into space in a giant rocket. Well that rocket didn’t make it to Mars like it was supposed to. No, it was hit by an asteroid and Gamera was set free. And though it’s a well known scientific fact that turtles can survive in space, he immediately returns to earth.

In Osaka, three part-time crooks, Keisuki, Kawajiri and Onodera take a boat to New Guinea to steal an opal hidden in a cave.

The three crooks!On the tropical island they meet a bunch of natives who tell them not to go to the cave. They also meet Karen, the beautiful island native who explains that no one who goes to the cave lives to tell the tail!

So Keisuki (who wants to start his own sight-seeing business), lovable Kawajiri (who wants to provide for his family) and prickish Onodera (who just wants the cash) set off for the most well-lit cave in existence. Hell, Onodera doesn’t even have to take off his bad gut sunglasses!

Kawajiri finds the opal and there is much celebration. Onodera sees a scorpion on Kawajiri’s leg, but neglects to tell him because, well, more money for him, right?

Yay!!Totally. And so as Kawa is jumping around all happy that he’ll finally be able to provide for his family, he’s stung by the scorpion and dies in about twenty seconds.

Now all Onodera has to do is kill Keisuki! So he lights a bunch of grenades and blows up the cave, trapping Keisuki inside. This whole thing is working perfectly! What could possibly go wrong?

With opal in hand, Onodera heads back to the ship. He’s got some icky jungle foot disease, so a doctor tells him to put it under infrared light. That activates the opal and it hatches… Barugon! He bursts through the hull of the ship docked at Kobe port, sinking and exploding it.

Boom!Luckily, Onodera, get off the boat just in time. And Barugon, now full size, attacks Kobe and then moves onto Osaka.

With his sheer size and his tongue that can not only hit stuff, but can freeze everything it touches, Barugon kicks much ass.

The military plans to fire missiles at Barugon. Sensing this, Barugon shoots a giant rainbow out of his back, destroying the missiles and disintegrating everything around them! Seriously. A giant freaking rainbow! This is awesome!

Rainbows make happy!! Loves it!

“Gamera loves heat energy, so it’s after Barugon’s rainbow!” Gamera and Barugon stare each other down until finally Barugon leaps at Gamera! Gamera rears up, shooting fire at the chilly Barugon, but is beaten back by the cold icy tongue!

Gamera is on his shell, and like much of Osaka, is frozen.

The native girl, Karen (yeah, that pretty much never gets old) and Keisuki (who’s not dead after all) arrive in Japan. Karen recognizes Barugon and thinks she knows how to kill it.

Spazz-Chop!!While Barugon rampages through Osaka, Keisuki finds Onodera in one of the movie’s best “oh crap!” moments. After a few spazz-chops from Keisuki, Onodera is bested and tied up.

Keisuki and Karen somehow find their way to the military and tell them that Barugon dies in water. Karen brought along a huge diamond that her tribe uses to lure Barugons to their death. They hop in a helicopter and hope to lure Barugon to Lake Biwa for a good killing.

Onodera, freed by some woman, hears of the huge diamond and wants to steal it.

Duh!For some reason or another, Barugon isn’t the least bit interested in the diamond. What the crap? Well, a doctor explains that Barugon grew faster because of the infrared rays, so the answer is obvious: “Raise the voltage of the diamond!”

Yes! It was so simple! How could they not see this?!

So they load the diamond into a giant ray gun, drive up to Barugon and shine the light at him. The diamond with a higher voltage works! With it, they lure the monster to Lake Biwa.

But once on the lake, with Barugon just about the enter the water and sink to his death, Onodera cruises up, shoots a military guy (while several other guys with machine guns cower and run away) and then steals the diamond.

Oh noes for Ono!!He hops back on his boat, but Barugon’s tongue catches him, wraps him up and the monster swallows man and diamond all at once.

Here is another great “oh crap” moment. This is all very clearly not going well.

The military keeps Barugon at bay while Keisuki and Karen inexplicably head to the old missile site and find that the rear view mirrors of the trucks survived Barugon’s deadly rainbow of death!

Harnessing the power of the rainbow!Operation: Reflection is born! They and the military head to Mt. Kajika and retrofit a satellite dish with mirrors. They also line up a bunch of tanks to draw Barugon’s deathbow.

And it works! They fire upon Barugon, he fires his rainbow, the satellite dish fires back and badly hurts Barugon!

Learning his lesson, he won’t try that rainbow thing again. So now they have an incredibly pissed off Barugon on their hands. It’s hopeless!

Fire!But just then, the star of the movie, Gamera, thaws out, regains consciousness and flies over Osaka to Mt. Kajika! All the people are like, “Two monsters? Man, we are SO screwed!” But Gamera is there to fight Barugon!

Can Gamera now defeat the wounded and bloodied monster? If so, will Gamera next turn on Japan? Or is he really just lonely and in need of friends like Toshio from the first Gamera movie said? Watch Gamera vs. Barugon and find out!

OK. This movie is weird. Help me out here…

I’m not sure if it’s just me, but I don’t find these boring plots all that boring. Sure, Gamera is for children and should have children in it, but even though this one is devoid of ankle-biters, I liked it. It wasn’t amazing or anything, but it was alright.

Unlike Godzilla, the Gamera movies have blood. And lots of it. Barugon bleeds quite a bit. Sure, it’s bright purple blood, but it’s still gory. Godzilla films have no blood at all at this point. Special Effects director Tsubaraya refused saying that children watch these movies and it wouldn’t be appropriate. The folks who made Gamera clearly had a different idea.

Um.. what the HELL?!Speaking of blood, there’s a ridiculously creepy scene in the movie that’s not at all explained. After Keisuki and Onodera fight and Onodera is tied up, Karen sucks the blood out of Keisuki’s wound. Why? Why does Karen do that? It’s not explained. Keisuki doesn’t even seem a little surprised! In fact, after she’s finished, he lovingly wipes the blood away from her mouth! Was there some subplot about Karen being a vampire that was cut out? What the CRAP?!

But the star of the movie is, of course, Barugon’s rainbow of death. I’m not sure who thought this would be a good idea, but I want to shake their hand. It’s a gutsy move, making a rainbow killing machine. There aren’t many movies bold enough to try it.

Gamera is BAD!Gamera vs. Barugon was released to US television in the late 60’s. About 30 minutes were shaved off (mostly plot and planning stuff). You can easily find this (it’s called War of the Monsters). There was also an unedited version redubbed in the 80’s by Sandy Frank. This is the one MST3K uses (though they edit it down for time).

Thankfully, I’ve got the original Daikaijū kessen: Gamera tai Barugon. But no matter which version you pick, you’re sure to have killer rainbows, a boring jewel heist story, a weird blood-sucking native girl and, of course, Gamera, the giant flying turtle! Should you see it? Sure!

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Videos
I couldn’t find a trailer online, so try this on for size…
Maybe you remember Commander USA? Watch his intro to Gamera vs. Barugon!

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Gamera vs. Barugon!
Monsters: Gamera, Barugon
Locations: Osaka, New Guinea, Kobe

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Producer: Hidemasa Nagata | Director: Shigeo Tanaka | Screenplay: Nissan Takahashi
Special Effects: Noriaki Yuasa | Score: Chuji Kinoshita
Released: April 17, 1966 | 106 mins | Color | 2.35: 1 Aspect Ratio

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