Over the past few days, I’ve been getting sicker and sicker. It’s nothing too out of the ordinary – just “the flu” or something. As the days went on, I did what I could to treat it and tried to convince myself that I was getting better.
But all the Vitamin C, Zinc, B Vitamins, Garlic tabs and wishful thinking in the world can’t actually cure you.
The past two nights have treated me to a really intense and bizarre headache, the likes of which I’ve never felt before. It would start in the sinuses when I’d lie down and then would wake me up around 3am as an unbelievable pain all throughout the top and back of my head. It was immune to ibuprofen and very worthy of writhing. How to fix it? Easy. Stand up. Five minutes after standing up, it was mostly gone with only the shadow of pain left in my sinuses.
This morning a new symptom has developed – a deep and very frequent chest cough.
So in a nutshell, I am not getting better. I am getting sicker. It’s no big deal, people get this sick and worse all the time. This is definitely one of the “better” flus I’ve had, actually.
But what does this mean for the trip?
Part of me, a LOT of me just wants to “man up” and do it. Put the under-the-weatherness on the back burner and plow through. I’m eventually going to get better, right? So why not get better on the road? I can fill myself up with as many medicines as I can find, take care of the symptoms and make it work.
This is what I want to do. Everything in me says that that is what I should do.
Of course, I’m smart enough to know why that’s a bad idea. Traveling on a scooter (or motorcycle) is much different than traveling in a car. You’re exposed to whatever weather is there and a constant 60mph “wind” in your face. Sure, I would eventually get better, but being on the road with the flu will prolong it and probably make it worse. Even if the symptoms are mostly covered, they won’t be totally covered. And when some of the symptoms are intense headaches and muscle aches that basically leave me unable to move, the thought of getting stranded in a tent in Nevada becomes very, very real.
The biggest symptom for me is just how quickly I become worn out. I’m pretty ok till about mid afternoon and then that’s it, I’m done. I can barely move. With some medicine, I could ward it off for a bit, but more than likely, I’d still be riding when it would hit me. That would be very bad.
Today it is raining. According to the weather, it will be cold and rainy for the first 300 miles of today’s ride. Now, I certainly don’t mind riding in the rain, and even though I have good rain gear, there’s no way to stay completely dry during an all day ride at 60mph. All day cold and wet when you already have the flu is probably a pretty bad idea.
All of this brings me to only one conclusion. I have to cancel the trip. Today was the last day that I could leave and still make graduation on time. After today, the window closes and I miss it. So now, I’ll have to fly down.
I am heartbroken here. I’ve been planning this trip for months and have been looking forward to it for even longer. To see it all have to be thrown away just because I’m a little sick is just horrible.