There’s an old folk song called “Cotton Eyed Joe.” Most folks have heard it, but sadly, most seem to have heard a dance version of it by some crappy Sweedish band called Rednex. The original version, however, dates back to before the Civil War.

The version that I know well, done by Bob Wills and His Texas Playboys, tells a bit of a different story. It proves that over the years, the narrative suffers and can morph into an indistinguishable (but really fun) mess.

The Rednex version uses some of the same lyrics, so you might recognize them.

Here’s the song….

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Let’s review the lyrics, shall we?

Don’t you remember, don’t you know
Daddy worked’a man they called Cotton Eyed Joe

Ok, so this author’s father worked with a man named Cotton Eyed Joe. So far, so good.

Had it not been for Cotton Eyed Joe, I’d a been married a long time ago.

And here we arrive at our chorus. This line repeats throughout the song, thus sharing with us its importance. It is because of this Joe fellow that the author is not now married and was not married “a long time ago.” This is important, we shall return to this idea.

Down in the cotton patch down below
Everybody’s singing to Cotton Eyed Joe

Very well. Joe (and presumably the author’s father) works in a cotton field. For some reason that is not stated, all of the employees enjoy singing to Joe. This, however, fails to explain the ways in which Joe halted the author’s marriage.

Nevertheless, the author again repeats:
Had it not been for Cotton Eyed Joe, I’d a been married a long time ago.

Continuing,
I know a gal, lives down below
Used to go and see her, but I don’t no more.

Here may be our first clue. Could this be the girl the author was to marry before Joe stepped in?

Again, he repeats:
Had it not been for Cotton Eyed Joe, I’d a been married a long time ago.

Perhaps the next verse will shed more light on this tender subject.
I fell down and stubbed my toe
Called for the doctor Cotton Eyed Joe
Had it not been for Cotton Eyed Joe, I’d a been married a long time ago.

Or perhaps not. Here is evidence that Joe is not only an employee of a cotton farm, but also a physician or perhaps even a podiatrist. Still, the author again states that Joe is the reason he hasn’t yet married. This seems a little ungracious since Joe is doctoring the author’s toe.

Tune my fiddle and rosin my bow
Gonna make music everywhere I go
Gonna play a tune called Cotton Eyed Joe

Here we slip into a strange dream-within-a-dream segment where the author talks about playing the song that he is currently playing. This may hint at dissociative identity disorder. Perhaps the author does not realize he is already playing the song.

While this verse doesn’t clear up exactly how Joe is responsible for the author’s thwarted marriage plans, it does open up other possibilities. Perhaps the author was “crazy” and there never was a girl to marry. Or perhaps Joe stepped in on the bride-to-be’s behalf, saving her from what would be a very strained marriage – having a spouse with an acute psychological disorder is no easy task.

A conclusion can be reached that whatever the reason the author was not married a long time ago, Joe was probably not to blame. The author was the cause of his own heartbreak and is using Cotton Eyed Joe, a fellow that everyone in the cotton patch seemed to adore, a long family friend and even a doctor to the author, as a scapegoat.

A lesson can be learned here: stop blaming kindly old black men for your problems and deal with whatever it is that keeps driving the gals away. Or something like that.