You know it’s going to be an interesting year when you start it with a bottom end rebuilt of a Vespa P200 engine.

I put a P200 engine (from ASC in Texas) in the Stella and it’s been pretty fine until about a month ago. It had about 800 miles on it when it started to kick me out of 3rd gear at high revs.

That generally means new cruciform (a small $20 cross that, when it goes, costs hundreds of dollars in labor to replace). I did what I shouldn’t done and basically ignored it, staying in low revs and short shifting into 4th. This avoided the problem and assured me that it wouldn’t get worse. But, as time went on, it got a little worse and then a lot worse, kicking me out of 3rd pretty much any time it wanted to, even in low revs. Sometimes it would kick me out of 4th too (I can’t get high revs in 4th since I can only get up to 50ish on city streets).

Here’s a fun explanation on how the gearing in a Vespa works. It’s a “constant mesh” system and very simple.

On my way home from work the other day, I pretty much had no 3rd gear.

Yesterday, my day off from work and decided to see if it could be the gear adjustment. I readjusted the gears via the selector box and no real difference aside from slightly tighter shifting. However, as I was pulling into my garage, the clutch went. Something made a popping sound and suddenly the clutch lever was very easy to pull and wasn’t engaging/disengaging (my first thought was a busted cable, but it’s fine).

I’ve rebuilt a clutch before, so if it’s that, then no problem at all (aside from not being able to find my clutch nut tool). But could a crapped out clutch cause the initial problem? Or am I looking at dropping the engine and digging out the cruciform, etc.? Well, none of these things, actually.

Well, upon further research, I got my answers.

Apparently there are 2 different EFL selector boxes (the mechanism which moves the cruciform from on gear to the next) with the same part number, and I got the wrong one. The wrong one will move the cruciform into slightly the wrong position. In this case, it’s moving it to just slightly not into 3rd gear, which is why it was kicking it out.

Due to this little issue, I will probably end up needing:
1) New selector box – specifically the FA Italia one.
2) New selector rod – because it’s probably stripped due to the bad selector box
3) New cruciform – because it was probably trashed due to the bad selector box
4) New 3rd gear – because it was probably trashed due to the bad selector box
5) New 4th gear (maybe) – because it was possibly trashed due to the bad selector box
6) New clutch(??) – I’m assuming this clutch issue is related, but I don’t know for sure. Might just need a rebuilt, which will be $75ish cheaper

Due to financial constraints, I’ll be doing all of the work myself and probably spreading it out over a couple of months (to save up the dough). Huzzah! And after a couple of hundred bucks in parts, it should be ok again.

I’ve contacted ASC (American Scooter Center), who built the engine for me and asked them what they could do here. I don’t expect them to do much because it’s been so long, but even a discount on the parts would be awesome.

This is what I’ll need to do today. It doesn’t seem to be too difficult, but I’ve never done it before.

Pictures and descriptions of the fun will flow! Until then, looks like it’s just me and Ruby for the ride to work. I’ve not ridden the red scooter since September.

Last year, I did a really fun three-part-post of how awesome 2008 was. 2008 was the best year of my life, I bet. And while 2009 has been pretty good, it’s definitely been uneventful in comparison.

However, what I did notice was that I did a lot of things for the first time. Not necessarily amazing or fun things, but firsts (or firsts in a very long time).

These firsts can be split into two main categories: Work and Travel.

2009 was the first year that I have ever worked for a huge corporation. In high school I worked at Weis Markets – they only covered a few states. Same with the various convenience stores. A lot of new experiences came with this work. For one, I had a real boss, first time since 1997ish. Also, with corporate work, you have about a week’s worth of training videos and mind-numblingly pointless tests just to ring a cash register.

In 2009 I had my first surgery ever for my first work-related injury ever! YEAH! And after only two days of work! It was also my first time on disability/workman’s comp. Wasn’t the first bone that I broke, but it was the first one that I broke and had treated (the other was a toe and I didn’t bother with a doctor for that – because of being poor – poor people don’t deserve medical care).

It was also the first year since 1997 that did not involve me working at a bookstore. Ironically, I’ve read more books in 2009 than all of those years combined. Probably. Close to it, anyway.

This was also the first year that allowed me to ride to work pretty much every day. I’ve taken advantage of this. I rode to work a bit when I lived in Montandon, PA, but over the winter, I could not. It’s become the highlight of my day. I wish the ride was a bit longer and more eventful, but still, it beats driving.

And speaking of driving, 2009 was my first full year without owning a car since 1991. I’ve ridden pretty much anywhere I had to go (though I do admit to loading on Smartz for a ride or two – but usually only to places she was going to as well).

That brings me to the travel firsts. Or rather, lack-of-travel firsts.

2009 was the first year that I can remember that didn’t involve me leaving my state of residence. That’s right, for possibly the first time in my life, I’ve spent a whole entire year not traveling out of the state. That includes me being a kid. There’s a chance that my parents didn’t take me out of state till I was three or something, but every year after that involved Maryland, Jersey, Florida, etc. Incredible, isn’t it? Makes me want to take a quick trip to Idaho or Oregon for New Years. Honestly though, it really kind of sucks.

The only consolation is that I’ve got a whole new state to live in (2009 was my first full year living on the West Coast). And I’ve definitely explored much of it.

I’ve also done much trip planning for 2010, as I will NOT spend the next year in the same way. As for 2010 and work, we’ll just have to see. It’s not like the job market is anything but dead. Hopefully something comes along over the next year to get me out of this corporate silliness.

Somehow, through all of this, 2009 has been my 21st year in a row without vomiting.

When you’re on two wheels, you always have to watch out for yourself. The folks in cars (typically called “cagers”) do not see you. And even if they do see you, they don’t really care.

This is worse in Seattle. I’ve said it before, the worst drivers that I’ve ever seen has been in Seattle. I have driven in all 48 continental states and none have been worse than the drivers of Seattle.

Let me illustrate this with a little story. Thankfully, I followed my instincts and this all happened in front of me.

I was as a four-way stop a block east of a Aurora Ave, a busy four lane. It was rush hour. I was riding north and about to turn left towards Aurora. As I pulled up to the intersection, I saw a woman to my left in a Subaru talking away on her cell phone.

Getting there before her, I had every reason to go first. But since she was otherwise occupied, I decided to let her go before me so that I could keep an eye on her and she wouldn’t kill me.

She went straight and I turned right, we were both heading in the same direction. As we got to Aurora, there were two cars in front of us. The street we were on was a fairly narrow two-way street. Both of the cars in our front were turning right. Traffic was so heavy that they could not make even a right turn.

The woman in front of me, still on her cell phone, must have decided that heavy traffic wasn’t really all that good of a reason to hold her up. She pulled into the oncoming lane, past the two cars and was now along side the first car and blocking the lane so that anyone wanted to turn off Aurora onto our street could not. However, she wasn’t out far enough for anyone to really see.

A white car making a left turn off of Aurora couldn’t see her until he was right upon her. The driver, also a woman, hit her brakes and had to squeeze diagonally between this Subaru and oncoming traffic on Aurora.

As this was happening, a car heading north on Aurora who also couldn’t see any of this happening until it was too late, also had to squeeze between the new car and the woman in the Subaru. There were three cars now gridlocked at the intersection.

This could all be remedied if the woman on the phone would just back up. She refused to do so. There was enough room for the diagonal cars to get by, but it was a very tight fit and required going up on the curb. The first car hit the curb, up and over, rolled down her window and cussed the cell phone woman out. Big time. I cheered. The other car did the same.

The cell phone woman then flew out into traffic, making a left turn onto a very busy four lane. Cars slammed on their brakes as the woman continued her conversation. Turn signals were, of course, not involved in any of this.

This is why I trust my gut when it comes to cagers. I don’t trust them, especially in Seattle.

Nothing says “Christmas” like total nuclear annihilation! And when you think “nuclear annihilation,” you naturally think of Weird Al Yankovic!

And please don’t forget my downloadable mix of 48 songs about 48 states.
You can get that here!

After taking the Christmas/Holiday season off last year, I’ve returned to the moronic world of retail. In the past I survived the brunt of a highly politicized shopping season and took it all in stride. This year was much the same.

Let me explain. For some reason, people on both sides of a fence that shouldn’t even be there in the first place expect me (and every other person working retail) to pick sides in what’s got to be one of the most pointless and trivial battles of “Good vs. Evil” and “Tolerance vs. Intolerance” ever created/evolved.

On one side, we’ve got several vocal groups of people who subscribe to the Christian faith. A few years ago they noticed that some folks were saying “Happy Holidays” rather than “Merry Christmas.” Thus began a campaign to make everyone say “Merry Christmas.”

If that isn’t mind-numbingly senseless enough, several vocal groups of (so called) liberals began a counter campaign accusing pretty much anyone who said “Merry Christmas” of being intolerant of other religions.

And so what’s supposed to be a time for everyone to put aside differences and just get along has turned into a highly and very idiotically politicized debate. Suddenly if you say “Merry Christmas” you must hate the Jews and if you say “Happy Holidays,” you hate Jesus. Maybe we’ve just run out of things to complain about.

So anyway, this year was much the same. Both sides shopped and both sides tried to bate me into saying either “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays” so that they could claim some small, meaningless victory over my soul and/or intellect.

As has always been my tradition, I sincerely reply to both with the same phrase: “Thanks! You too!” And I mean it. I hope those who say “Merry Christmas” really do have a merry Christmas. Likewise, I hope that those who say “Happy Holidays” have themselves a happy holiday. Of course, what I really hope for is that both sides realize how preposterously goofy they’re being and just knock it off.

I don’t care if you wish me a Merry Christmas. If you really mean it, then great, thank you. And if you wish me some Happy Holidays, well then great! Thanks! That’s nice of you to say. In both cases, you do the same.

If you are offended by someone saying either “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays” to you, please get over yourself. Find a new hobby or bake some cookies or something.

To help illustrate this point, I’ll leave you with Mike, Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot singing “Merry Christmas … If That’s Ok”

Christmas comes just once a year so for a few days for crying out loud, can’t we all just get along?

Yesterday morning, I got a message from Ryan asking if I wanted to head down with them to Seattle Center (where the Space Needle lives) to check out the train layout and, apparently, the cold. Of course, I said “sure!”

He picked me up and wound our way down Aurora Ave to the Worlds Fair Grounds. We parked across the street from Bamboo Gardens, walked around a parking garage and across 5th Street. Ryan had Arkaedi stuffed in backpack and Taviri was spazzing out a few paces behind us.

In the park, there’s a water fountain that’s a gigantic crater with a huge metal ball in it. The metal ball fountains the water, though mostly in summer. Arkaedi saw it first and pointed, saying “ball! ball! ball!” We peeked over the crater’s edge to stare in awe at the ball ball ball.

Though the temperature was 45, it was a bit chillier than I had anticipated. I was only wearing a hoodie. Arkaedi and I were the only ones with hats.

After the ball, we went inside one of the old Fair buildings. They’ve turned it into a huge foodcourt minus the mall. It’s got strange things strewn about the place, including a huge chunk of the Berlin Wall. This is where the train layout was.

Anyone who knows me knows I’m all for trains. As far as model trains go, I’m more into the HO scale. Even the Lionel scale is quite nice. This layout was larger than that, however, it was very well done. Congratulations, Seattle!

The set up was a town from maybe the 1920s with a fire hall, a theater, blacksmith shop and many Norman Rockwell kinds of homes. Several trains, all old locomotives, run through the town, over bridges and through inexplicable tunnels.

Having quite a bit of the train, the kids sat down, Arkaedi in a pink chair and Taviri in a blue one. Arkaedi made sure that we all knew that she was in a pink chair and “baba” (brother? Bubba?) had blue.

Also in the foodcourt was a giant Christmas tree. As we walked the kids over, we got several very pleased nods from “progressive” Seattleites who thought we were a gay couple. If they only knew.

At the Christmas Tree, Taviri told me about his own Christmas tree while Arkaedi told me about the blue birds on the tree in front of us. She then became a cat, dropped to all fours and began meowing. This tickled a few folks around us, but held us up a bit.

What were we late for? We were late for heartbreak.

Another part of this park is the carousel. Being a two year old girl, Arkaedi loves horses. As we approached the carousel, she giggled and said “nay! nay! nay!!” But she was too small to ride, so while Ryan took Taviri, I got to hang out with Arkaedi, who was very seriously not happy about this. I picked her up in my arms so she could get a better view.

“Baba ride.” she says to me.

“Yep, Baba’s riding the horse.” I reply.

“Me ride?” she asks.

“Well… let’s just watch Baba ride,” I said trying to avoid what I knew what coming.

She paused for a bit and looked at me, just a little sad. “Me ride…. Me ride?”

“Look! It’s Papa and Baba! Wave to them!” What else could I say here?

“No… down.” She was serious now. I was clearly to blame for this.

“You want me to put you down?”

“Hmph!” When she says “hmph!” you’ve been cut off. She really means it.

So I put her down beside me. She was this close to crying. I gave her a little hug and stayed on her level.
I asked her if she wanted me to pick her up again.

She very sadly answered, “No.”

“Do you want to hold my hand?”

“No.”

“Well… how about my finger?” (Sometimes she’s ok with that.)

“No.”

She was still very close to tears, so I ask, “Did I break your heart?”

“…. No.” She had to think about it.

“Can I stay here and talk to you?”

More thought and then, “….. yeah.”

Ryan and Taviri exited the ride and she was clearly heartbroken that I was so mean that I didn’t let her ride on the horses.

Ryan carried Arkaedi who was now scowling at me. Taviri was spazzing around us and when I looked to see exactly where, I saw him going for a couple of very used cigarettes in a nasty ashtray. I shout out to him “Oh no! Tavari! That’s nasty! It’s like… poop! Don’t touch it!”

I usually don’t raise my voice (because, you know, why would I have to?), so Taviri suddenly got shy and really sad that I “yelled.” He wouldn’t talk to me, either. He wasn’t mad, but just too sad to talk.

So there you go, I broke two warm little hearts in a matter of minutes.

By the time we got to the car, Taviri was fine with me, but Arkaedi was still not thrilled. I talked to her a little bit and finally got a high five out of her. She wouldn’t give me a hug, but a high five means I’m once again on the road to her good graces.

I guess this was my Christmas outing. Good friends and trains, heartbreak and high fives – that about sums it up.

Last week, I was at work and witnessed a 50ish year old woman treating an 80ish year old woman like a child. It’s always bugged the crap out of me when people do this.

The older lady came through my line and bought a little something. I rang her up and she pulled out her purse, but because her fingers were arthritic, she couldn’t pull out her credit card. Not really a problem since most of my fingers still work pretty well and I could help.

But that’s not what happened. The older lady said, “I can’t get the card out of my wallet.” She wasn’t upset and didn’t panic – she just accepted it. No big deal. I took her wallet and slid the card out (it was pretty jammed in there, I’m not surprised she had trouble with it).

As I was doing this, her care giver (or whatever they call these people) came over and said in a very angry and condescending tone, “See, Iris, this is why you don’t wander away from me!” The older lady looked at me a little embarrassed, but also with a bit of sparkle in her eye.

The transaction continued with me walking the older lady through it “May I see your card? Please sign here. Would you like a bag?” And whenever she would attempt to answer, the bitchy 50 year old would cut her off, angrily answer for her and then demean her in some way.

But through all of this, Iris was dignified and that sparkle returned with every attempt by her keeper to reduce her to an easy-to-handle mindless elderly zombie. She would look at me and roll her eyes, giving me a sideways smile, seeming to say “It might suck to get old, but at least I’m not like her!”

It’s probably not a ton of fun taking care of old folks, but do try to remember not to treat them like children. If they physically could, they would probably strangle you to death in your sleep for doing so. And you would deserve it, so please stop.