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Archive for June 4th, 2009

eric on Jun 4th 2009 Movies

Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus – Sometimes You Just Need a Bad Movie

There are days when you’re feeling a little down, a little unsure of why the world is working how it is, why random strangers always seem to be dry-clicking their revolvers at you. And on those days, I find it best to get yourself a few friends and the best bad movie you can find.

Twice this week that movie has been the now-classic Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus starring Debbie Gibson. Seriously.

The movie can really best be described by again reading the title. There is a Mega Shark. There is a Giant Octopus. They fight.

Sure, there’s Falcon Crest’s obviously over-qualified Lorenzo Lamas (the early 80’s version of Mario Lopez) playing a weirdly racist general or lieutenant or whichever military commander can wear a black suit with his hair all slicked back in a ponytail. We’ve got an Irish professor (who surprisingly isn’t drunk) and a Chinese guy playing a Japanese guy who gets to make out and have off-camera sex with Debbie Gibson.

And that’s pretty much the reason you’re watching this. The title alone will draw you in, perk your interest, but the “starring Deborah Gibson” seals the deal.

You think, “Deborah Gibson… that names sounds familiar… I wonder if… holy shit! It is!” And the movie is as good as yours.

To be perfectly clear, this was never intended to be a good movie. Not in the sense of Casablanca, It’s a Wonderful Life or Top Gun. This movie knows what it is and with a wink/nod, is off and running.

That said, it’s not particularly bad. Think of any Sci-Fi Channel disaster movie with really bad CGI that takes itself really seriously, drop the ‘tude and substitute a mega shark and giant octopus for the category five tornado/tidal wave/earthquake/ants and you have this movie… starring Deborah Gibson.

In MSvGO there are no understated performances. There are no normal performances. Everything is over the top. Everything. The bit actors really ham it up.

From the countless shots of two or three armed guards in sunglasses standing outside of what looks like an oil refinery being passed off a Naval HQ to the completely insane submarine captain who actually gets to yell, “Tell ‘em we’re comin’ straight for them… and we got the DEVIL ON OUR TAIL!”

Oh, and the guy who randomly said “it rises!” He was fun.

Hell, this whole movie is fun. Do I have to remind you that a giant shark leaps up out of the ocean and snatches a Boeing 747 out of the air? Find this movie and watch it!