Something occurred to me not too long ago. I have known my goodly friend Jeff for 14 years now. During that time, I have had five cars. Jeff, in some way or another, was involved in the damage of four of them (not the Yaris, which he never saw). Impressive… most impressive.

When I met Jeff, I had a wonderful 1984 Jetta. It broke down every week, but I loved it. Jeff lived in Parkersburg, WV and I in Columbus, Ohio. I was visiting him and we were driving back to Columbus (I think for the More than Music festival). Jeff was driving. After passing over the “free bridge,” and heading through Belpre, Ohio, my water pump crapped out, the engine majorly over-heated and blew the head gasket and warped the head.

I spent the next month at Ryan and Jaime’s place (in Belpre) while some crappy mechanic gave me the run around.

Upon moving to New Vrndavana, WV, I got myself a Geo Metro. Not the best car in the world, but I could squeeze over 55mpg out of it. While living in New Vrndavana, I visited Jeff in Parkersburg pretty often. I don’t remember much about what we would do, but every single time I’d go there, the car would break down or I’d get trapped in the snow and end up living in Parkersburg for a week.

During one of these times, Jeff drove my car. He did this a lot and I was, of course, completely fine with it. One time, however, Jeff was exiting the metro and somehow managed to break the turn signal switch clean off! It was years before I fixed it. I used a small screw driver to signal for turns.

I had the Metro for years and years. I was completely fine with driving it till it died. Lucky me, I got that chance a few years later. I then ended up with a Dodge Neon. I pretty well hated it. But it did have a sun roof! That luxury was sadly short-lived.

Upon visiting Jeff, he (again) was driving and decided we needed some air. He flicked the switch and the sun roof that I had never once had a single problem with opened halfway and then made a loud grinding noise. We were somehow able to almost get it closed. The rain would almost not get into the car.

That got worse over the years until the rain would pool up in the back seat. On hot days the mildew smell was unbearable. Eventually, the transmission went out and I sold the car for $300ish.

And that’s when I got the Bus. I never let Jeff (or anyone) drive my bus. It wasn’t really that I was selfish or didn’t trust anyone. But hardly anyone I knew could drive stick. I’m not sure if Jeff could, but it never really came up.

Jeff didn’t break the bus. He really had no effect on the mechanical workings (that I know of). He did, however, manage to mess up the table in a nasty way. I don’t remember specifics (which is weird, since it was the most recent). But it really wasn’t a big deal.

He never saw my next car, the Yaris. Thankfully, the car is gone.

I moved to Seattle a few months after Jeff left. That’s a shame as it would be really fun to have him around. Besides, I don’t have a car now. And Jeff can’t ride a scooter – looks like I’m safe!

Of course, I’m not saying that Jeff was malicious or even careless in any of these occurrences. None of this was his fault, really. Naturally, that leaves only one option: Jeff is cursed. But we sure do love and miss him anyway.

Related posts:

1. Thanks Jeff and Sarah! Thanks!
2. Stupid cars make it easier to spot the douchebags
3. Jeff and a big clean up job.
4. Moving Jeff and two photos
5. Donk? Cars with candy and cereal on them!