Hi folks… I wrote this little nugget a few days ago. But, as often happens, I’m now wondering if I am being too hard on devotees. Mostly, I was poking fun and giving some a good natured ribbing. But do I rib too much? I’m not at all an angry person. But, as pointed out by Ryan, I’m a cynical, skeptical and suspicious 90 year old man. That’s true in a lot of ways. I mean, I’m not actually 90 years old. I only act like it.
So I ask, am I going too far? Like I said, a lot of it is in jest. But a whole lot of it comes from my growing dislike of bullshit, personality cults and justification disguised as dovetailing.
Mostly, however, this should be taken as a bit of satire. Sort of like The Hing II: This Time It’s Personal! (except not really as likable… sort of like The Hing 2: Electric Bugaloo…. Any thoughts?
Sometimes I really question my commitment to being a good devotee. I mean, even though I’m completely convinced of Vedanta philosophy, I know that I am totally fallen and unable to truly be a real vaisnava.
First off, I don’t really like the Beatles or George Harrison. Sure, they had a few songs that I like and yeah, I respect them for being pretty amazing musicians, but I just don’t care. I just don’t think George Harrison was some great devotee – I know that pretty much disqualifies me from going back to Godhead, but I can’t even pretend to think that Dark Horse and Extra Texture were good albums.
I don’t care about aligning my chakras. I just don’t. I don’t like silent meditation or crystals. Any mention of “chi” or of “light” and “energy” makes me gag. I guess I’m not into the whole New Age thing. Actually, I think most of it is just plain silliness. I don’t care about the mind-body-spirit connection. Or collective consciousness. Or the healing power of magnets.
I have only seen a few Bollywood movies, and to be honest, they kinda sucked. I don’t really even care for the philosophically bizarre “devotional” movies that India cranked out through the 50′s and 60′s. And while I liked some aspects of the Mahabharata TV show, mostly it was weird and long-winded. And devotee-produced plays where the voices and sound effects are all pre-recorded is lame. Admit it.
I don’t have a special diet. Or a personal cook.
My head doesn’t wobble and I don’t have a fake Bengali accent, even when speaking about Krishna consciousness. I realize it makes it difficult to convey any sort of spiritual idea while talking in my normal voice, but that’s the burden I’ve been cursed to carry.
Phrases like “spaced out,” “stool room” and “fried” rarely, if ever, pass my lips. This probably means that I’m not at all situated in my spiritual life. I know that each time I say “I’m going to bed” instead of “I am going to take rest” I acquire many thousands of lifetimes on the hellish planets. I know this, and still I can’t bring myself to do like that. It must be my rascal mind. I am not “veddy much” anything, except “veddy much” going to burn in hell for a very long time. Oh, and there is no such word as “literatures.”
I don’t really care about yoga. I think it’s neat to see someone who is really good at it performing all the bendy things, but I have no desire at all to attempt it myself. I know it comes from India and that automatically qualifies it as mode of goodness/transcendental, but I just don’t like it.
I don’t even use Vicco tooth paste. Can you believe that? I just don’t think it works. I don’t wear a wool chadar when I’m cold – I have sweaters for that. I have no real desire to even visit India. It costs a lot of money and seems to be a pretty nasty, dirty place. Sort of like Detroit, but with slightly more shit on the ground.
And speaking of money, I don’t think that spending $108 to hear some guru talk is a bargain. 800 bucks to learn how to chant japa? No sorry, that’s cheating. Call me a hippie, but spiritual knowledge should be free. Again, I realize this totally blows all possibility of devotion, but what can I do?
However, I do care about the philosophy taught by Lord Krishna, Caitanya Mahaprabhu and Srila Prabhupada. I like chanting Hare Krishna, worshiping the deities and associating with the devotees, but I know it’s not enough. I know that I need to put on the All Things Must Pass album and meditate on light and love.
Empowerment seminars and hokey self help books haven’t replaced Bhagavatam classes and Prabhupada’s books. That I like traditional bhajans instead of mantra rock and crappy New Age music in the guise of sacred sound and movement (whatever that means) does indeed put my name on Yamaraja’s hit list, but I think I’ll just chant Hare Krishna instead.
Dear Eric Prabhu,
Hare Krishna! I have always noticed your writings in the Planet Iskcon site but never once stopped to read them. But todays title captured my attention. You are being extremely hard on yourself. Your pessimism eclipses your personality as an adherent of the Vedic philosophy. I dont wish to use the term “devotee” here since you dislike it.
George H never proclaimed himself a devotee in public. But his interest in KC is to be admired. Infact through his classic song “My Sweet Lord” the names of Lord Krishna is still heard around the world thanks to the radio stations that take pride in playing his song.
As for India it is always a culture shock for first timers or many timers like me. But it is unfair to impose your American perceptions on a country which has its own unique culture.They say if you can control India you can control the whole world. It is such a diverse society that is almost mind boggling. Believe me there are some places there that are so spiritual that you feel you are no longer on earth. It is a very unfair criticism of a land whose contribution you are now enjoying as your spiritual life.
I dont use Vicco all the time. Sometimes Colgate or toothpowder. Most important is to get your teeth cleaned before you chant the holy names.
As for Yamaraja, who is to decide? If your life is indeed surrendered to a higher spiritual cause then there is no question about Yamaraja. Vaishnavism is the only sampradaya that rejects the notion of mukti or liberation. Bhakti is far superior. Kulashekara Alwar in his Mukundamala stotra rejects even mukti devi if her presence will make him forget the holy names.
Please be kind to yourself and by so doing be kind to the rest of us too. Wishing you well in your spiritual endeavours. Haribol!
Your servant,
Sudakaran Sangaran
Oh prabhu, trust me, there’s no reason to stop and read them (well, maybe the Bhagavad-gita posts, I like those).
But this piece is a bit of sarcastic satire. I’m not sure of your nationality/culture, but that often doesn’t translate well out circles outside of America/The West (and some folks just don’t like satire or sarcasm – that’s perfectly fine, of course).
For example, I’m not at all pessimistic. I’m a pretty cheery, upbeat guy who loves Krishna conscious philosophy (been doing it for 15 or so years).
As for India, I’m not enjoying their contribution to my spiritual life. I’m enjoying Srila Prabhupada’s contribution. That he was born in India is of zero importance to transcendental philosophy.
Also let me say that I don’t really hate anything that I listed here (except empowerment seminars… and New Age anything). I like a lot of the stuff. Love the taste of Vicco, I like some Beatles songs, heck, I’d probably even like India. I guess what I don’t like is the cultish attitude towards these things that some folks have.
I’m sorry for the misunderstanding. I’m like this a lot. :)
Eric, thank you so much for pointing out that we’re not followers of anything Indian, we’re followers of Srila Prabhupada!!!
Eric,
As I understand it, as long as we have at least some love for Krishna from the deep of our heart, we are on track. Back to Godhead in this lifetime would be great, but setting it as a serious goal and killing yourself to achieve it, for me it’s not very natural. Little drops of water makes an ocean, so keep walking and one day by the sweet-will of Krishna we all get there :)
Hare Krishna.
Yes.. this is all true. Thank you, Anonymousji.
Trust me, I’m certainly not busting my arse here. :)
But I do deeply love Krishna and our philosophy. However, I’m sure it’s a bit difficult to tell that sometimes.
haribol.
i love that you try to add humor to kc. really i do.
this piece doesn’t work for me though. i don’t think it is as well thought out as your other stuff.
ys ddd
Oh I’d agree with that. It’s just ranting.
you did forget to mention devotee ponzi schemes.
oh, why must i contribute to this!!!
Ha! The real question is “how did I miss this?!” So true!
It’s weird. I wrote this a few days ago and then woke up today feeling sort of bad. Was I too harsh? Or was I just trying to be a funny(ish) Bhakti Vikas Swami impersonator? I wish I knew.
It’s weird, cause I’m only half joking on all of these (except empowerment seminars).
Okay, now surely you ARE into the yogis meditating in the Himalayas?
Sure, sometimes I sit in meditation with the babajis and meditate on Lord Siva.. but it’ll all end well, trust me. :)
What next Eric? Are you going to tell us you got a real job, instead of liberating Laxmi from the karmis? And you didn’t mention Boy George, the real devotee George!
I was going to mention Boy George. I remember that Danavir was REALLY into him. He was so happy that Boy George converted (why?!?!) and made a song about it. I knew it wasn’t going to end well.
Just see!
hehehe
I also wanted to mention calling “money” “laxmi”… i don’t like that very much. And I don’t think prabhupada said that or started it.
I like that you’re an old man. I’m dewy youth by comparison!
And as long as you still like the muppet movie running joke (that guys lost. Maybe he should try hare Krishna) you are a great vaisnava.
Ha! I’ll always love that joke. I’m glad they put it in there, actually. Not sure if it made any devotees, but it’s still a fun quip.
In MY religion, bathroom chi puts up mirrors to deflect you!
I nearly did a spit-take! Thanks!
Somewhere Missy Nutter is turning over in her grave.
I think you’re wrong about George Harrison and The Beatles, but that might just be because I’m a generation older than you. I will admit, though, that they a few clunkers in their careers.
Have you read this? I think it nails it. It’s hard sometimes to separate the things that are truly good and necessary from the things that arise from habit and local customs.
I think all we can do is give it our best shot, and give others credit for doing the same. (And hope that God grades on a curve!)
BIG curve!
Yep, I read the piece that Gosh posted. It’s exactly what I mean.
And see, I don’t mind people liking the Beatles or GH, why would I? Like what you like. But when devotees make GH out to be some pure devotee, it’s just creepy. Personally, I love the sound GH got out of his guitar. But then, how can you not love a Rickenbacker?
My master had a person come to him, a white guy, who said he was a darvish, and wore Sufi robes. the master asked him his name, and he said some Arab name, and the master said “what did your mother call you?”
He was always irritated when people interpreted culture as spiritual growth.
Very cool!
Interestingly, this is what made me want to be a buddhist. i spent years being interested in japanese culture and buddhist culture more than buddhism. i’m not so into persian or arab culture, but i love being a darvish. Ah no! the blog post is forming in my mind as i type! I must write about it!
Blogs are like zombies. You spend all of your time on them and they eat your brains.
I think a lot of devotees got into Indian culture through being a devotee. I guess there’s nothing wrong with liking Indian culture, but my spazz out is when Indian culture is held equal or higher to spirituality. Culture, no matter how fun or awesome, is still material.
Watch out for those salt mining zombies. They’re hang lemurs on stuff.
It does get tricky with Indian culture. Most of the culture revolves around some type of spirituality, so there is a lot of overlap.
But, I am pretty much with you on Indian culture. I really loved the chanting and kirtan I was first introduced to, then the whole Indian culture thing was forced on me. It’s not that I don’t like it, on the contrary, I like a lot of Indian culture. It’s just not ever going to be my daily lifestyle, food and clothing.
There is some overlap. But a lot of Indian culture also revolves around religiosity, as opposed to spirituality. And a lot of it revolves around silly superstitions. (Sorry to anyone who’s offended by that, but show me how it’s not true.)
Like when the Hindus worshiped the spool of garlanding string? Like that?
Wait…. We’re not supposed to worship that?
Another example- worshipping demigods for material benefit is culturally hindu, but NOT spiritual. It’s actually detrimental to spiritual life.
Nono, we can worship whatever we want. It’s not like we’re personalists or anything. At least, not in front of folks that donate a lot of money.
You are a bitter old man. :)
Oh and sometimes I don’t like you, is that horrible of me? :D
Yes. The horriblest!
Bro. You need to, like, get in touch with your inner dolphin.
This may help:
http://www.gopala.org/node/273
Hehe, I saw that! The whole thing, including all the help you got from other devotees, was hilarious. woo!
And you even got Radhapriya to chime in with her own “you may be a Hare Krishna fanatic” symptoms! :)
I’m part way down the list and glad no one can hear me laughing.
I particularly like:
-you think the above mentioned are offensive
-you think a side part is for prostitutes (we were actually taught this in the gurukula. as well as being told we were prostitutes if our hair was in a pony tail, as opposed to a braid. to me there’s something kind of wrong about telling a 9 year old that she’s a prostitute.)
Maybe it was some messed up wishful thinking on their part?
Probably.
But we’re not a cult.
Fantastic Eric, mate. Keep up the great work. It’s not harsh it’s hilarious. Please keep up the funny business.
Check this out if you haven’t seen it:
http://www.gopala.org/node/273
it’s quite funny
Thanks for the link.. deja vu!
Thanks for letting me know it’s not harsh. Cause I did have a piece on Chant4Change and that was pretty harsh. So harsh, I didn’t post it. And that’s very rare for me.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I’m sure your piece on Chant4Change was great! It’s funny, just yesterday my mom was telling me about it. She also thought it was a massive harinam, and was most disappointed when she found out what it actually was. But hey, even if you missed it, you can still be part of the historic event by purchasing the t-shirt!
I LOVE being part of historic events! I missed the Battle of Gettysburg, but thankfully, I got my $35 Official Battle of Gettysburg totebag! I even got it signed by General Lee!!
I should have posted it. Ugh. I’m too nice sometimes. (hehe)
Didn’t I email it to you?
You did, it was awesome!
Have you read the stuff on that link? Some of it is really funny.
Oh good good. And heck yeah I read it. It was hilarious, like I said!
Oh, yeah, sorry, I’ve been between the 2 so I’m a bit behind on the comments. :-)
Who’s Radhapriya?
Ohh.. she’s someone who I used to talk to quite a lot. But then she stopped liking me. I’ll explain later.
Hey, Eric, here’s a question for you. What if the plays are pre recorded so that everyone can hear properly? What then, huh? HUH?
bullshit. ha! total bullshit! plays were performed WAY before sound systems… CLASSIC, amazing, important, wonderful theater existed, thrived and was actually good WAY before the amazingly shittastic Age of Kali play was ever even dreamed of!
“so people can hear” is not a reason. yes, people need to hear, but that is why there are microphones. Example: The Live Aid concert was *live* in front of a zillion people, but none of the music was prerecorded. why? microphones! (and other amplification devices).
so no, no reason to ever ever ever use pre-recorded anything.
Ugh! I hate them SOOOO much. The worst part is that they’re horrible preaching. If you want to have your crappy little lip sycing plays in front of other devotees, fine (not really). But to have them at a Ratha-yatra or big festival with a lot of folks who aren’t devotees, it’s just embarrassing.
They did one of these at some Ratha-yatra I attended. The crowd were mostly not devotees and they were actually making fun of the lip syncing. It’s not that the lip syncing was poorly done – nope, the “actors” were right on cue. It’s just that the lip syncing existed.
Some were making fun, but most seemed horribly embarrassed for the devotees. Yeah, that’s some good preaching there.
So people producing plays. STOP doing the pre-recorded sound thing. It’s lame. Cut it out. Seriously. Stop it.
This is your last warning.
Now, was that play before of after Four Old White Dudes Kickin’ Ass On Stage?
Exactly. Most folks just laughed at Four Old White Dudes Kickin’ Ass on Stage. The rest used the restrooms.
ugh! I HATE the lip synching. Now, I can understand that if there is a pre-recording and the actors act it out dramatically, kinda like how I think HH Bhaktimarg Swami does it. But they’re talking and moving awkwardly and it annoys me. How hard it is to learn a couple of lines and not have your back toward the audience!? This isnt rocket science!
or is it?
I’m not sure I understand the difference between lip syncing and the pre-recording thing you’re talking about. Help!
lip-syncing is when its pre-recorded and the actors move their mouth in accordance with what was recorded. The other type is when there is a recording (usually the voice of the narrator), and they dont mouth the words and compensate by making artsy dramatic expressions. Does that make sense?
I think that’s called ‘pantomime’ – Bhakti Marg Swami does a few like that and they aren’t half bad.
Ok, I’ve seen that.
It’s less bad. I mean, at least there isn’t lip syncing. But it still looks bad. Again, maybe fine for a Sunday feast, but for a large festival, it just doesn’t look right.
Usually because they try to add sound effects.
Why not just do a play? Just a regular ol’ play. Plays are nice, if well-written and properly done. I remember Sankirtan’s Mahabharata (from New Vrndavana). It was a 45ish minute adaptation. Two people. It was utterly brilliant. No lip syncing, no sound effects, no pre-recorded narration (I believe the two actors took turns narrating). Just classic theater.
If we would do more things like that, we’d not only teach, we’d be known for putting on some damn fine plays.
Hare Krishna
Once an individual was explaining how he was the most fallen, he started to explain to Srila Prabhupada why.
Srila Prabhupada listened for a short time then simply replied “you are the most fallen nothing”
Simply by the fact that we are trying to be a devotee over shadows our faults or that of others.
We also have to be real with ourselves (and as you have been honest) this is how I feel whilst respecting others.
George Harrison for instance did amazing service but in some areas we could find fault, do we dwell on the faults or focus on the good?
Remain true to yourself whilst developing your relationship with others, that does not mean that you have to always agree or like
You’re right. I’m not the most anything. But then, I don’t think I ever said that I was.
It’s ok, though.
Oh, and the story is that Prabhupada said, “You’re not the most ANYTHING!”
But who really knows – I think it was on a Prabhupada Memories DVD. Still, good story.
Agree or like … What? Don’t leave me hangin dave!
Herc is the most something. He’s the Herc-est.
My itouch autocorrects to Herc now. Weird. It’s learning…
Hare Krishna Prabhu,
Like me I’m glad you said that you aren’t a good devotee, because that gives you something to strive for in your spiritual journey back to Godhead. Srila Prabhupada would be proud of that statement. If you think you are a good devotee then you have come to the end of your journey and you have nothing to strive for.
I think you are a ‘grumpy old man’ (forgive the offence) but I too am a grumpy old man.
I never liked the Beatles when I was a young lad. George to me was a ‘fringe’ devotee, but don’t get me wrong he did some excellent things for Iskcon. So we will leave it there as he wasn’t as some of the other celebrities ISKCON was courting – like Boy George. Totally shameful.
I too don’t care at all for yoga, new age anything, in this age of Kali it distracts one from the path of Krishna consciousness.
I don’t like Vicco toothpaste but I like using Neem toothpaste and dental floss.
I too don’t have a chadar I like sweaters, but I don’t like wool sweater as I itch when wool touches my body.
I too think that retreats and payment to hear ‘devotees’ talk about Krishna consciousness is a form of cheating. Iskcon does have temples where they can spiritualise the masses. I don’t think Prabhupada would approve of this practice. Also I think it is too much a new age waste of time.
Like you I like the old style of Hare Krishna music – traditional, it was what I first heard over 30 years ago, mrdunga, kartals and harmonium. I tolerate the new age music but it not really music to dance too.
I like chanting Hare Krishna as well, I love listening to Prabhupada chanting and saying sit properly.
I have one point of contention where I totally disagree with you and that is you don’t think you are a devotee. You actually are a better devotee than me and a lot of other devotees out there. Yes, you may upset some devotees with what you say and write but if you don’t have commentators that cause one to think about their path of devotion then as a whole we are degrading their path to Godhead. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you aren’t qualified to say or write what you do, because if Prabhupada was here today you would get his thanks.
Well Prabhu I have had my whinge.
Please accept my humble obeisances
Your servant
Atmananda das
Keep up the good work.
Wow, thank you very much. I’m glad there are others like me out there. I’m pretty thrilled, actually.
But in seriousness, I know I’m not a good devotee. I’m steady, I know that. That’s a good thing. I’m never going to bloop or switch to some weird off-shoot philosophy or anything like that. I’m a devotee now and I’ll die a devotee. There’s a nice bit of security there.
I’m steady, but I could definitely be a better devotee. I mean, we all could, sure. But I really really could. I’m definitely not the “most fallen.” I’d have to really put my heart into it to fall down that far. But I’ve got a long way to go.
I use Vicco’ but I don’t know how to say it. Is it vicko or vicho?
I think it’s Vicko. But I could be wrong. Maybe it’s Veecho. Never really thought about it though, weird. Just assumed it was Vicko.
I wish it worked for me. I do really like the taste. I use Nature’s Gate anise now. Works very well and my teeth feel smooth and clean after. Woo!