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eric on Nov 12th 2008 at 4:35 pm Around Seattle, Travel

The Entertainment at the DMV

The rambling fellow in front of the Department of Motor Vehicles was not crazy. He stood before us, the members of the ever-lengthening line, waving his arms, singing and talking, half to himself, half to whomever was in ear-shot.

In our fortune, an hour before the DMV would open its doors, we silently beheld this man as he shouted names of local sports teams, offered commentary on those new to the line waiting to get in or the cars in the parking lot.

Of Sarah’s Chevy Cavalier, he offered the advice of “a new paint job and some chrome rims for that Chevy.” He agreed with himself several times and then went back to singing.

The song was about Southern California and rain, or rather, lack of rain. On 85th Street in Seattle’s Greenlake neighborhood, it was gray, but also not raining.

“Safeway be down 14 points,” he said to nobody in particular. “I be gettin’ my oats, mhm… But not from Safeway.” Clearly, as a company’s stock decreasing in value, so do their oats.

We were the third or fourth people in line behind his gentleman, who stood not in line, but on the stairs slightly above the line, preaching to us, his captive flock.

He testified that he was here yesterday, Veteran’s Day, but could not get inside because they were closed. Then, after mumbling something about “everyday at seven,” he reiterated that he was here yesterday.

“Washington Mutual, Westlake, Sonics, Mariners, Seahawks, Dawgs… what’s next? Starbucks?” Asked our orator. I quickly tried to tie all of these items together. Most are (or were) Seattle sports teams. Is Starbucks truly next? Next for what? I begged myself to ask the question, but before summoning the nerve, the truck driver studying his textbook in line in front of us asked the man to quiet down.

This, as you can imagine, was the wrong thing to do.

“You’re the only one studying. I’m no uncle Tom. You be coming up on the White House lawn and say ‘hey! turn down that music,’ but ‘we just gettin’ started.’” He somehow managed to tied the Klan in with this. Also something about bugs in the wall to keep the Klan away. That and the loud music and Constitutional rights.

“Everyday at seven. You go to the library for quiet.”

The truck driver, realizing that he had been outwitted, relented.

Then, with Sarah’s camera, ten minutes before the DMV opened, I snapped a picture of our shepherd. I don’t believe he saw me do it.

But in response to that, or something else, or possibly nothing he asked if any of us had ever tried to pull a hog out of warm mud?

“Hog is like an ox. You gonna get splashed.”



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6 Comments

Comment by sarahNo Gravatar
2008-11-12 16:50:50

we need to go back there tomorrow morning. we have come to seattle to hear these preachings. we must go!!

Comment by ericNo Gravatar
2008-11-13 23:09:33

You go! I’ll sleep in!

 
 
Comment by CalderNo Gravatar
2008-11-12 19:26:25

The Wesley Willis of the DMV. I have to agree though, rims and a paint job on a Cavalier are the best things that could be done, and maybe some upholstery too. Tuck and roll on the seats.

Comment by ericNo Gravatar
2008-11-13 23:10:06

Pretty much, yes. But again, he wasn’t crazy. Just.. peppy. Maybe “peppy” isn’t the right word. But really, he was having a great time.

 
 
Comment by Ryan BeggarNo Gravatar
2008-11-13 21:43:11

Well when it comes to most things in life of any value, you are gonna get splashed. That is the truth. The DMV rocks it like a magic kiss.

Comment by ericNo Gravatar
2008-11-13 23:10:41

I’ve gotten splashed at pretty much every turn. Of course, at every turn I find myself pulling pigs out of the mud. I don’t really get that.

 
 

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