I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about moving. In less than a month, I’ll be heading out to Seattle as a permanent move. Recently I’ve been growing more and more worried about it.

It’s not that I don’t know people out there. My friend Corby is there, I’ll be staying with my friends Ryan and Jamie, who have a network of friends, some of who I know, Ashley will be nearby in Portland and I’ll be moving with my friend, Sarah.

But I still feel like I’m not doing the right thing, though I don’t know why.

Money is most definitely an issue. Apartments are not cheap in Seattle. Quite the opposite. They’re ridiculously expensive. Sure, the pay is much better there to accommodate the stupidly high prices, but it just seems like a waste of money. Also, the area where Corby and Ryan/Jamie live is very expensive. They’ve both lucked onto some cheap (for the area) rents, but I’m not having the same luck.

I just spend the weekend at New Vrndavana (pictures to come later, probably tomorrow) and I really love the simple country life. Not a huge fan of winter, though. Or of not having a decent internet connection (satellite only). And there are things about city life that I just enjoy – the convenience of how close good food is, for example. Also, Seattle is pretty scooter-friendly. I’ll not have a car there, so that helps. I could do that in the country if it didn’t snow, of course.

And Seattle is a great town, a lot going on there. I like Portland better, but think I’ll have more opportunities in Seattle, at least for now. Portland is definitely in the plans though.

Another obstacle is how to get my stuff out there. I don’t have a lot, but I have more than a carload. Renting a Uhaul truck is out of the question since it’s horribly expensive and I don’t have enough stuff to haul. But a trailer might be out of the question as well. We’re taking Sarah’s car, a Chevy Cavalier. It’s not exactly made for towing.

I will be shipping my 700lbs of books (ugh) and my records and probably my DVDs. That leaves only my computer stuff, kitchen stuff and clothes (plus a few odds/ends). Not really a whole lot.

My friends, Nikki and Evan just moved to San Francisco. They took basically nothing. Two suit cases each. That’s it. I’m flat out jealous of them. I wish I could let go of what I have. Ah, but books. I have literally 700lbs of books. Mostly Krishna conscious titles. But still, 700lbs. That’s fine if I’m settled down and have a nice house. Or am moving within the same area. But I’m moving across the country. Adding up all that I have to ship, it’s about 1000 pounds.

And then there’s the scooter. I could ship it for about $600 or ride it out (there’s a long back story as to which scooter I’ll be taking, but I won’t bore you). If I take the red one, I could ride it. If I take the white one, I cannot and will have to ship it.

I feel exhausted just thinking about all of this. Not quite to the point where I say “fuck it” and stay on the east coast. But damn, that’s tempting.