I was just over at my old place trying to sort things into two rather unfathomably large piles:

1) Put into storage (ie, parents’ house)
2) Dumpster

The vast majority is going into the dumpster. And there’s definitely some things I’m keeping (books, records). But then there’s this gray area of shit that I don’t want to get rid of, but don’t want to have. It’s weird. It’s like, I want to give it to someone, but nobody around here would want this stuff. Stuff like some of the records, some old VHS tapes, maybe some scooter stuff. It’s just that I live in such a god forsaken shit hole that NOBODY around here is really into what I’m into. Or, in this case, sort of into.

I don’t want to trash this stuff, I want to give it away. There are a bunch of books that I have that nobody around here would even take, even if they were free. So what do I do? Just trash them? This is ridiculous.

What I should do is rent a dumpster, fill it up with everything I know that I don’t want, and then fill it up with everything else and be done with it.

What’s most fucked is that most of the books and records that I’m keeping will never be listened to or read by me. Never. But they’re things that I want to keep around. Why? Who the hell knows. Even more fucked is that I would totally buy them again if I didn’t have them already. All in all, it’s probably 15-20 boxes. It would be less if I got proper boxes for records, but I’ll take what I can get. I can still get everything into one bus load, so if I ever do move across country in my bus (unlikely, but possible), everything will fit. Shipping, it would fit on a pallet, double stacked.

I really REALLY love how I’m living right now. It’s minimalistic and very simple. Even with the books and records that I’m storing at my folks house, it would still be pretty simple. I wouldn’t need much more room to have them here. I just don’t want to lug them up three flights of stairs. If I could line a wall with the right bookcases, I could have them here. That’s great, but not now. Not here.

It’s just all this gray area stuff. What do I do? Why did I acquire so much shit? I’m very frustrated with everything right now. I can’t even think straight. I was there for about two hours and I just couldn’t take it, so I left. Good. I hope the house burns down. I hate that house. SOO much. It’s nothing but a fucking blight. When I think about that house, I think about nothing good. It’s full of shitty memories, lies and bullshit.

I regret very little in my life, but the past year… oh yeah… big time. I should never have agreed to move into that place. I should have minimized my life then instead of doing it now. Now, it’s a horrible pain in the ass. I’m burned out and just want the move to be over with. And it’s hardly started. Please, someone just go into my old house and steal EVERYTHING so that I don’t have to deal with it. Leave the books in the boxes, but take everything else. Clean it out. I hate it.

Any words of wisdom?

Related posts:

1. The Land of Oz? Holy CRAP!!
2. The Land of Oz? Holy CRAP!!
3. Most of my crap
4. On Moving
5. About moving