Hey! It’s the trip before the trip!

Part of my summer travels will take me here and there on the east coast. I have two planned so far. The first one is an easy one, riding down to Gettysburg (perhaps on July 1-3) and then to Harper’s Ferry then to Skyline Drive which turns into the Blue Ridge Parkway. When that’s finished, in South Carolina, I’ll shoot over to my sister’s place in Charleston and then up through the Carolinas and Virginia to home.

The next trip is Canada/New England. This is a bit of a tougher one since I’m not at all familiar with the roads. But I’ll be hitting Ontario, New York, Vermont, New Hampshire, Mass, and then back to home.

Each should take a week and a half, maybe less. But it’ll be good preparation for Scoot 66 in September. I’m sure there will be other trips. I’d honestly like most of the summer to be a trip.

Mostly, I’ll be camping. I can’t really afford to do much else. Food will be mostly Subway. And gas will be pretty cheap at 50ish mpg.

Any suggestions on places to see in either of these directions?

Strange dreams lately. Fascinating and strange. They leave me wanting to know their meaning. Or at least to figure out why they are coming. Maybe we dream most about what is most on our minds. And what has been in my dreams and what has been on my mind has been the repercussions of moving away, of traveling.

Though nothing is concrete, not even close, my general assumption is that I will sell the store in April or May. I’ll then do some short trips here and there, meanwhile finding ways to sell everything I own. By the end of May or beginning of June, I hope to have most of my possessions sold, the important things in storage. Then I hope to do Route 66 in a car in mid-June. Everything has to be out of my current house by the end of June. I’ll be back by then, but after that will be homeless. There are very few people in Lewisburg who will rent you an apartment just for a two months.

My son will be up from Florida for much of the summer. I’m not sure exactly when and that will most definitely play a part in when I do things. I may talk to my landlord to see if she’ll extend the lease till the end of summer, even though I’m planning on leaving before then. Maybe she can extend it for one month. We’ll see. And then, at the end of July, I’ll start traveling. Maybe I’ll start Route 66 then.

But I’m very hesitant to do it before September because of the heat in the desert. Maybe I’ll travel to Canada. Or New England. I have friends in both places. Maybe I’ll do Blue Ridge Parkway, and then up the east coast. It’s not like I don’t have a plethora of places to hit. I’d also really like to take in some Ratha-yatras this summer as well. Maybe the Festival of Inspiration at New Vrndavana too.

In September, around the 9th, I think, I’ll hit Chicago to start Route 66. I should be able to do it in a month. And then, maybe I’ll settle down if I’m tired of riding and traveling. Or maybe I’ll keep going. At that point, I’m just not sure.

But one thing that is gnawing at me is the complete loneliness that will come with this traveling. I’m not just leaving the place where I grew up, I’m leaving people who mean the world to me, who mean everything to me. Thinking about a life without them is heart-wrenching. And I think this is my hangup, my security blanket. In most, the feeling is far from mutual, so what am I whining about? For most, I’ll be forgotten. Or missed because I’m not at the bookstore. My friendship and companionship, will not be missed. That’s not a fear of mine, it’s just the truth. I’m not bitter about it, it’s just a fact. I’ve always been more attached to people than they are to me.

You’d think that this would make it easier to leave. Just put on that bitter face and ride off into the sunset. But it doesn’t work that way. How am I going to live like this? Will I, the person who can barely work up the nerve to go to a party where I was invited, the person who is often too timid to call to order a pizza, the person who has never once made a “first move” or took it upon myself to go up and talk to people, will I be able to wake up every morning in a tent for one in the summer and fall chill, get on my bike and ride to the next town. Or will I just say “fuck it” and go home.

But I won’t have a home. I’ll have a handful of belongings that I’m too attached to to get rid of, tucked into some storage closet in Pennsylvania. That’s not a home. I won’t have a home. I’ll have my bike and a few bags. Will my tent become so familiar to me that it will take the part of a house? Will the fire ring of the campsite be my living room, the picnic table my dining room? My neighbors, usually retired folks in huge RVs, they’ll no doubt be welcoming and I’ll field many questions “so you’re riding this across the country, huh?” But will they be anything but hollow faces that I’ll slink away from in the morning before they wake up?

And what of new friends? I’ll inevitably meet people. But I don’t know anybody out there. I wish I could ride from friends house to friends house, one each night even. But that’s not to happen. I don’t know anybody. I will be alone. Riding with no real destination or schedule and with no home, no work, no school.

Is this it? Is this how my life is going to be? To end even? Fulfilling my dream of traveling, but the greater dream of close friends and comradery just an empty echo in my road-rattled mind. And they only place I ever knew this assurance has been here, in Pennsylvania. And even that is questionable. Very questionable.

But I have had friendship with Ryan and Jeff, etc. in West Virginia. Will I end up there? What about winter (my other reason for leaving)? Those people were true friends. Are true friends. But they are here. Right now, I can’t be here.

Maybe I’m leaving to find a better reason than what I’m living for. Shit, maybe I’m just talking. Maybe I’m just dreaming like some sophomore in high school, dreaming of leaving my hometown for California just as soon as the graduation cap flies skyward from my hand, jumping on the bike before it hits the ground. Only to get to the edge of town and realizing that there’s no way in hell that my life is going to let me leave. And twenty, thirty years down the road, I’ll tell stories of how I wanted to leave and couldn’t do it. Something kept me firmly in place. Cemented to Pennsylvania like a lead weight tied around my ankles, pulling me under the fill of everything familiar. I’d lie and tell the kids that this is what I really wanted, but anyone who could look into my eyes would see the truth that in my heart, I still need to travel.

I need to. But what is out there for me?

And what is here for me?

Maybe the same nothing is everywhere. But at least the nothing out there isn’t here. At least I won’t be here. But where will I actually be? “Anywhere I hang my hat is home.” But there won’t even be a peg on which to hang my hat. Just a tent and a scooter and the near endless open road.

Christ, I’m scared as hell.

I’ve started to seriously think about Route 66 in June. Originally, this trip was supposed to be my father, my son and myself. You know, the romantic notion of three generations driving Route 66.

But that seems to be falling through. I talked to my dad yesterday about it and he all but confirmed that it wouldn’t be possible for him to do it.

I think I should still be able to do it though, if I have another person to pay their own way. Split in half, it comes to about a grand each.

• $500 for rental car
• $600 for gas
• $600 for lodging
• plus $200 each for food.

That comes out to a little over a grand, but I’m grossly over-estimating cost here, just in case.

Of course, I’ll be journalizing the whole trip, posting pictures, etc.

This will be my third Route 66 excursion.

My fourth will hopefully come in September when I do “Scoot 66.”

Though, who really knows what the future will hold. September seems a million years away. And even June seems distant. A lot of things need to happen before these trips can happen. Selling the store and pretty much everything I own being the two most important things.

Cross your fingers.

This is how I spent much of my morning. As a slug. I was cold, ok?

Took the AllState to the painter. Should get it back by the beginning of next week.

I don’t have much else to talk about. It was a very very mellow day today.

I am, however, in love with the Mythbusters.

How about that. I’m finished. Big day. But not too much blood was drawn.

First, I started by regluing the resistors to the metal backing thing. That was a lot of fun.

(Click on pics to make them bigger, ok?)

This project was a LOT of trouble. I’m not really sure if it was worth it, honestly. But I’ve always wanted to do it, so I did. And now that it’s done… well, here are some pics.

I had to dremel a hole on the cowl (on the bottom, where it attaches to the frame) for the wires that go to the regulator, which now lives in the wheel well.

And then, to make the turnsignal light work, I need to connect the wire in the cowl to the wire in the scooter. Not so tough and I got to use the dremel again!

And here I am bolting the damn thing on. It wasn’t easy. If my arms were any larger, I couldn’t have done it.

And here it is installed. The oil tank can be seen in the background, so it’s not like it’s ridable at this point. I had to reconnect everything in the universe first.

Well and then I put it all back together. Here’s what it looks like. Woo!

And the finished inside:

Notice the blood.

I still have a few things that I need to do with it. Tape up some of the wire, etc. But I’m basically FINISHED!

And next is the AllState. Woo!

No cold water. Frozen.

Cut open thumb. Won’t stop bleeding. See? (Click on pics to make them bigger, ok?)

Scooter is being a bitch. So I slapped it.

Here’s how.

Ok, I thought I had to totally remove the gas tank. That’s not correct. However, I managed to get gas AND oil everywhere. I smell yummy. I first had to take off some grommets and that was no fun at all.

Then I was trying to figure out if the regulator wires would reach to the wheel well. With a bunch of cutting and swearing, turns out they do.

I only had to remove the tank about 1/2 way. Luckily that means that all of the fuel and oil lines could remain in tact. Glory be.

I also attached the electrical components to the “front” of the cowl area.

Mmmm, blood.

But in other news, I put the lock on the glovebox and glued down the turn signal wire and cowl rubber.

I glued down the resistors as well. But I don’t have a picture of that because I was getting blood everywhere.

Hungry. But I’m finished for the night.
Having an issue with a fuse. See, it doesn’t seem to go to anything. But it should. But it doesn’t seem to.

God, there’s blood everywhere.

My to-do list (done so far):

1. Drain and pull gas tank
2. Find a place on the Stella to fit the regulator and resistors, drill out holes for both
3. Relocate the other electrical do-dats to the “front” of the new cowl
4. Glue resistors to backing plate and bolt in place
5. Silicone over exposed electrical terminals
6. Grind off remaining metal from old battery holder
7. Attach lock to new cowl
8. Mark off and drill holes for cowl
9. Silicone newly found cowl rubber to new cowl
10. Bolt on cowl.
11. Reattach everything in the universe.

Last night it got down to 7F. Seven. What the hell? I put a garbage bag over my window, taping it down with all the packing tape I own. It helped, though slightly. I have another window as well in my room.

When I woke up this morning, the house was 38 degrees. That’s about 3C for my Canadian friends. That’s IN my house. I can’t live like this. I can hardly go into the kitchen, even with the heat one because the linoleum floor is so cold. I have to bring in extra rugs or throw down a blanket.

In the shower, the air is so cold in the bathroom, even with the space heater that from the time the water leaves the shower head till it reaches my body, it’s cooled down considerably.

I am miserable here. This is worse than the Water Street house (similar heating situation). And this house is huge. It’s just me, alone in a cold giant house. And a lease that doesn’t run out till June.

On a brighter note, the film War of the Buttons, which is one of my favorites, has just been posted to youtube. Do yourself a HUGE favor and watch it. Check out the first part of it here.

I’ve got a long to-do list tonight. I’ll have to throw on a couple of thermals and add a sweater. I hate wearing this many clothes. T-shirt and shorts is ideal.

My to-do list (in case I forget it):

1. Drain and pull gas tank
2. Find a place on the Stella to fit the regulator and resistors, drill out holes for both
3. Relocate the other electrical do-dats to the “front” of the new cowl
4. Glue resistors to backing plate and bolt in place
5. Silicone over exposed electrical terminals
6. Grind off remaining metal from old battery holder
7. Attach lock to new cowl
8. Mark off and drill holes for cowl
9. Silicone newly found cowl rubber to new cowl
10. Bolt on cowl.

Presto! I’m finished!